Don’t get me wrong. I
love Star Wars. I waited in line to get
tickets to see the Special Edition Trilogy.
I was an inaugural subscriber to the Star
Wars Insider magazine. My middle
school notebooks are filled with (poor) sketches of AT-AT walkers, Star
Destroyers, and TIE Fighters.
But as years passed and prequels were released, my love of
the Star Wars franchise slowly waned. As
it stands now, I recognize that the Original Trilogy are great films and were
an important part of my youth, but I also see past the fanboy in me and
recognize that they have faults.
Huge faults.
That’s what this is about.
This isn’t a rant about how the Prequels, or how they ruin the Star Wars
Universe, or how they create a minefield of plot holes (Spoiler Alert! They do).
In fact, with some minor exceptions, I’m going to try and steer
clear of the Prequels entirely.
Instead this is a list of things that have always bugged me
about the films. Unfortunately, those
small pet peeves that were once glossed over by the youthful mind of a Star
Wars fan, have festered over the years into fatal, rage inducing flaws.
So without anymore pointless introduction: I give you Things I Hate About Star Wars
Episode 1: The Battle of Endor
Let’s begin with a little summary. Lando is going to lead the raid on the Death
Star. The Imperial Fleet is spread
across the galaxy in a ‘vain’ effort to engage the rebels, so the Death Star is
undefended except for an energy shield.
To bring the shield down, Han will lead a commando team to Endor to
destroy the shield generator. Why Han is
the perfect choice for a commando raid is beyond me, but that’s a discussion
for another time.
Upon exiting hyperspace, Lando realizes the shield is still
up; then, the entire Imperial Fleet comes into view.
Why yes Admiral Ackbar, it IS a trap!
So, where is the problem?
The story telling of this battle is superb (in my completely uneducated
view), with the three intertwining story arcs of Luke verse Vader, the Space
Battle, and the Ground Battle. Likewise,
the pacing is done well, the characters reach their final development, the
tension is there, and everything works together very well… from a movie making
or story telling perspective, that is.
So, I ask again, where is the problem?
A tube of toothpaste has more tactical sense than George
Lucas. That’s the problem.
Let’s start simply with the choice of Lando Calrissian as
the Strike Leader. Again, from a story
perspective, I understand it. As one of
the main characters, it makes sense to include him the climax of the film. Additionally, by having a character the
audience has a connection with lead the space battle, it invests the audience
in the outcome of the battle. Do we care
when that one random A-wing is shot down?
No, because we have no connection to the pilot, we don’t know his name,
nor have we made any connection with him throughout the Trilogy.
But from a Tactical perspective, Lando is an idiot. What credentials does he have to lead the
most massive military operation that the Alliance
has ever attempted? Apparently pulling a
crafty, ‘maneuver at the battle of Taanab’ was enough for the Alliance leadership to push aside other, more
seasoned veterans and gamble on Lando. I
mean, seriously, Lando was the administrator of a mining colony.
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| Mine... |
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| War College... |
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| Eh, what's the difference? |
Lando’s brilliant leadership is apparent from the onset of
the attack. Upon hearing that they are
being jammed, Lando realizes that the Empire knew the Alliance was coming. He orders all craft to pull up and runs
directly into the Imperial Fleet. The
only sane person in the group, Admiral Ackbar, begins making preparations to
retreat. But, Lando urges them to stay
and fight to give Han more time to bring the shield down.
Hey Lando, did it ever occur to you that if it is a trap up here then it is highly likely that it
was a trap down there? The tactically sound assumption Lando should
have made while staring at 24 Freaking
Star Destroyers (that’s right, I counted) was that Han and his team had
been caught, interrogated, and someone spilled the beans about the attack. The prudent thing to do would be to flee,
save the fleet, and live to fight another day.
It is simply foolish to believe that Han is still breathing,
let alone fighting on Endor, when Lando is looking at a formation of 24 freaking Star Destroyers. It is even more foolish to risk the fate of
the entire Rebel fleet on the hunch that Han had made friends with a tribe of
teddy-bears that are inexplicably able to go toe to toe with ‘an entire legion’
of the Emperor’s best troops.
Then in a startling display of incompetence, he convinces
Admiral Ackbar to escape the weaponry of the Death Star by closing with the 24 Freaking Star Destroyers and
engaging at point blank range. Perhaps
Lando missed the briefing on the size and capability of the Alliance
Fleet. Perhaps Lando doesn’t know what a
Star Destroyer is capable of, let alone 24
of them. Or, perhaps Lando was a
poor choice to lead this little adventure.
The point is, not only is the Alliance Fleet at a
disadvantage, it is at such a horrible disadvantage that there is literally no
chance for the Alliance
to survive the confrontation.
Allow me to illustrate.
Warning, Major Nerd
Alert Ahead
After watching frame by frame every scene leading up to the
actual battle that showed the Alliance Fleet, I counted the number and type of each
vessel. I always erred on the optimistic
side and if I was unable to reconcile a specific ship from one shot to the
next, it was counted as a separate vessel.
The following Order of Battle is the most optimistic appraisal of the Alliance at the Battle of
Endor:
- Capital Ships
6 x Mon Calamari Star Cruiser
10 x Corellian Corvette
5 x Medical Frigate
12 x Rebel Transport
2 x Unknown Corvette
4 x Unknown Type
- Fighters
24 x X-wing
18 x A-wing
13 x Y-wing
10 x B-wing
Additionally, when Lando and Wedge exit the Death Star, we
get an additional view of the fleet in the distance. However, most of the engine configurations we
see are those of Rebel Transports (upwards of 19 of them), but their roll in
the actual fighting would most likely have been limited, you know, being
transports and all.
On the other hand, I counted the Imperial Fleet during the
several wide-pan shots centered on the Super Star Destroyer Executor. The number of Star Destroyers varies from 20
to 27 with some ambiguity, but the most accurate count of definitive vessels
was 24.
- Capital Ships
1 x Super Star Destroyer
23 x Star Destroyer
Counting fighters for the Empire is much more
difficult. To save time, I’ll spare the
reader the details on how I arrived at the fighter totals. Understand that the data for the Star
Destroyers came directly from starwars.com, while the values for the Executor and the Death Star are
ultra-conservative estimates based on what little data is available, again,
from starwars.com.
- Fighters (23
Star Destroyers and the Executor)
300 x TIE Interceptor
300 x TIE Bomber
1200 x TIE Fighter
- Fighters (Death
Star, again ultra-conservative estimate)
1800 x TIE Fighters of various types
Now that we have some actual numbers to work with, we can
dive head first into a tactical analysis.
Let’s begin with the Alliance’s
original premise for the attack: that the Death Star is ‘relatively
unprotected.’ However, the rebels do
know that the Emperor is aboard the station, so they must assume that he would
travel with a bit of an entourage. Consequently,
Alliance
planners must have taken into account that they would face some portion of the
Imperial Fleet stationed at Endor in a defensive roll. Thus, it comes as no surprise to Han’s
commando party when they see a Super Star Destroyer and two escorting Star
Destroyers as they approach the moon.
This makes sense. The defense of
the Death Star and the Emperor would require such a force.
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| 'Relax Kid, it's just the largest Star Destroyer ever designed... fly casual.' |
For the sake of argument, assume the Alliance planned on facing five more Star
Destroyers than Han saw; so a Super Star Destroyer, 7 Star Destroyers and the
associated fighters. This is 16 Star
Destroyers and nearly 1200 fighters less than the number actually present
during the battle. Even if the Rebels
had brought enough ships and firepower to combat twice what they believed the
defensive fleet would be, they still would have been significantly
outnumbered.
Combine this with what we know of the combat capabilities of
a Star Destroyer. In the opening scene
of A New Hope, the Star Destroyer Devastator incapacitates and captures
the Tantive IV, a Corellian Corvette,
in an effortless battle. Likewise, the
transports escaping Hoth had zero chance against the blockading Star Destroyers
and required several shots from the Ion Cannon in order to escape.
Consequently, only two ship types appear to be capable of
going toe to toe with a Star Destroyer: Medical
Frigates (Uh, really? Well I guess we do see one exchanging broadsides with a
Star Destroyer, so…) and Mon Calamari Star Cruisers. Aside from being extremely optimistic in my
counting of both classes, two Mon Calamari ships are destroyed by the Death Star
prior to engaging the Imperial Fleet.
That leaves, at most, 9 Alliance
capital ships to face 24 Freaking Star
Destroyers.
Even worse,
the Empire has a 55 to 1 advantage in fighters.
And remember, that is the absolute best case scenario for the Alliance. Wedge is a pretty freaking good fighter
pilot, but he isn’t going to overcome those odds.
“But Steke,” the reader may say, “the rebels only needed to
buy time for Han to get the shield down.”
Good point, let’s move on to the forest battle (Spoiler
Alert: equally ridiculous, both in the movie and also how long I can go on
about it).
With Han and his commando team captured, the fate of the Rebels
rest with Wicket and his band of marketable children’s toys.
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| Devastate the Empire, with this family friendly toy! |
It is not impossible for the Ewoks to defeat the Empire. With guerilla tactics, an extended campaign
of ambushes, subversion, and sabotage the Ewoks could cause the Empire to reevaluate
its presence on the moon and force a withdrawl.
But this isn’t what the Ewoks do, they just attack, with no prior
preparations, primitive weapons, and the absence of a cohesive strategic or
tactical plan. The Ewoks defeating an
elite Storm Trooper Unit is about as likely as a salt shaker conquering Nebraska.
Additionally, the woodland traps set up by the Ewoks, while
comical, are entirely unrealistic. Apparently,
the Ewoks had seen the future of finding a Golden Deity named C-3PO, who would willingly
lead them to the slaughter at the hands of the Stormtroopers, and decided to
build a bunch of traps specifically designed to counter big mechanical bipeds. Again, all this is great for a future toy
line and provides a bit of levity on screen, but tactically it is more than a
little questionable.
Which brings us to the Stormtroopers. An elite military unit has something called
discipline. They do not simply go
chasing off after their attackers into unfamiliar terrain. Instead, they form a defensive position in
which to regroup, consolidate their forces, evaluate the nature of the attack,
establish communication with their base/command ship, and create a sound plan
for a counter attack.
Likewise, the Stormtroopers’ greatest advantage is that the
Empire has completely uncontested air superiority. (And no, that glider thing that one Ewok has
doesn’t count.) Whether from part of
their own garrison or as a detachment from one of the 24 Freaking Star Destroyers in orbit, the Ewoks should have learned
first hand the effectiveness of napalm in forested regions. Furthermore, after subjugating the entirety
of the known galaxy, the Empire has most likely perfected the art of orbital
bombardment. If TIE bombers were
unavailable for some reason, one of the 24
Freaking Star Destroyers could easily turn the area around the shield
generator into a wasteland in a matter of minutes, then return to the space
battle without really missing a beat.
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| I love the smell of Napalm on a Forest Moon |
Numerous other options remain for the Stormtroopers under
attack on Endor. They could call for
reinforcements from the 24 Freaking Star
Destroyers in orbit. We know from The Empire Strikes Back that the
Imperial Fleet is capable of landing a small army in short order, why not send
down another dozen walkers. Heck, call
up the AT-AT walker we saw lumbering around earlier and have that pursue the
Ewoks; I’d like to see a Kenner Playset trip that thing. It makes no sense that this supposed ‘elite’
unit fails in every respect to act like a trained, disciplined combat
team.
Now, back to the question about ‘buying time to get the
shield down.’
The entire Rebel plan focuses entirely on getting the shield down, destroy the Death Star, ???, win?
Even with the highly improbable victory on the forest moon
and the destruction of the Death Star, there should still be a bunch of
Imperial forces roaming Endor and 22
Freaking Star Destroyers in orbit. The
Executor and one other Star Destroyer
are the only Imperial capital ships we see destroyed during the battle. Yet, somehow, once the Death Star was
destroyed, all malevolent forces in the galaxy cease to exist. Seriously, in the Special Edition George
even added shots off all the various Star Wars locales rejoicing over freedom from
tyranny. I refuse to believe that the
Empire would fall so swiftly (like in 5 minutes, if we are to believe the
Special Edition). Most likely it would take
years of decay, with a period of unrest and fighting amongst the remnants of
the Empire trying to fill the power vacuum.
Heck, it would probably take months for the simple message that the
Emperor was dead to spread throughout the galaxy. Plus there are still 22 Freaking Star Destroyers just hanging around. That’s not something you can just write off. Well, I guess you can if you’re George Lucas.
