Currently Playing: Super Mario Bros. 2

Throughout the storied and diverse history of Mario games and his numerous spinoffs, there certainly is a wealth of fantastic games. Few would argue with the supremacy of Mario 3 near the top of all-time greats. Additionally, there are lots of games that don’t quite fit the standard Mario mold: there’s Super Mario Sunshine, or Yoshi’s Island or, heck, Dr. Mario or Mario Kart. These are good games for sure, they just are Mario’s stepchildren from that ‘other’ marriage; the ones the courts say he has to include as part of his lineage and pay monthly child support to.

Then there is Mario 2.



If Sunshine is Mario’s stepchild, then Mario 2 is the incoherent drunkard on Jerry Springer who is trying to find out who his real father actually is, then ends up throwing a chair at Kid Icarus.

'E's Yer Beby!'

Honestly, I’m surprised that Mario (and Nintendo) weathered this disaster with such grace. Then again, I only vaguely remember Mario 2 from my youth. I mean Matt, the spoiled, only-child who lived down the street, had it. But I only remember actually playing it once… and I thought it sucked, and this was before we used even knew what ‘sucked’ meant.

Mario 2... sucks?

No, for my friends (and everyone I knew in general), Mario 2 was simply never mentioned. We went straight from Mario to Mario 3 (and what a glorious leap that was) and left the second installment by the wayside.

Even when I finally got the game from a thrift store, or garage sale, or other such used-goods emporium, I never played it. I felt it necessary to own, but never bothered to actually play it… until now.

And now I know why.

This game flat out sucks, and I hate it.

Yes, I know that I already said that. Hey, I’m an unoriginal bastard. But the reason, I said it again, is because I say that exact same line numerous times whenever playing the game… because it sucks, and I hate it.

Alright, alright, I know the game actually received strong reviews and was the third best selling NES game (thanks, Wikipedia!), but that doesn’t change how I feel about it (Spoiler Alert: it sucks and I hate it).

And here’s why.

1. Play control is balls. Control of your character is very ‘floaty.’ No, I don’t mean how Luigi and Peach have an inherent float in their jumps; I mean the inertia of your character lags. It’s like being in an Ice World in any other game: you slide all over the place. This game is difficult, not because of tricky platforming (I’m looking at you Lost Levels) or because of challenging bosses, but because the controls are down right atrocious.

2. It’s buggy as hell. Enemies have the tendency to vanish, for no reason. Sometimes, I’ll go to jump on the top of a wall and I’ll land on the side of it just below the top.
Other times, I’ll do a blind jump to a platform that I know is there, only to find that this time, the game decided to not include it, just to remind me that I hate it. This just scratches the surface, I challenge anyone to play through a game of Mario 2 and not experience some sort of glitch or bug. It’s ridiculous.

3. Mario 2 looks like crap. The levels, graphics, and visuals are generic and boring. And what’s with the whales in the Ice World? They look more like building blocks that spout radiator fluid than whales. Oh, I know it’s supposed to be a dream world and everything, but what the hell is this shit? I walk into a bird mouth at the end of each level? Uh, what? I mean, this is supposed to be a Dream World, why not go all out? Make this thing crazy. Make it way out there. Get freaking creative. This isn’t a dream world, it’s bland world. If this wasn’t the 8-bit era, the entire thing probably would have been rendered in five shades of beige.

Who knew that Mario 2 had its own Exit

I can’t wait to beat this shit and get it over with. I’ve been playing maybe a run-through a day for about a week and can now consistently get to the final boss, so it’s just a matter of time. I want to put Mario 2 behind me and never look back.

This game seriously sucks and I hate it.

Currently Playing: Oh Shit, There Go My Grades

About 6 years ago I graduated from college with a very useful degree in Military History. Since then, the job offers I’ve had in that field have been incredibly numerous and lucrative… Okay, that’s a lie.

In reality, I realized that History, while I enjoy it and think that it’s fascinating, isn’t really my calling. I don’t want to spend years of my life researching some obscure historical event, only to write a book that will most likely be read by eight people and some poor Midshipman at the Naval Academy who, by pure chance, was assigned a report on the very event to which I devoted my entire life.

Instead, I’ve returned to school to get a degree in engineering, which is much more suited to how I think and view the world.

Naturally, I’m impatient, so I’ve completely overloaded on credits in a vain attempt to get to graduation as soon as possible. Consequently, video games have taken a distant back seat to School.

And the work seemed to be paying off. With only a bit of ego, I can say that my grades were great and the semester was shaping up nicely… until Tuesday, October 5, 2010. At approximately 9:45 in the evening, I fell head-over-heels in love.

I started playing Valkyria Chronicles.

I want to have it's babies.


The characters, while still loosely conforming to the JRPG stereotypes, seem like real 3-dimensional people. Granted, the occasional cheesy line gets in the way, but otherwise the characters are all fairly likeable. In almost every JRPG I’ve played, there is at least one character that makes me groan and say, ‘shut up, shut up, shut up!’ every time they open their mouth (I’m looking directly at you, three-quarters of all Final Fantasy characters). But, so far, I’m pretty much annoyance free right now.

Annoying.

The story is top notch. I truly feel that I am but a small part of a much larger war, and not just a lone group of people who fight off the entirety of the cosmos to ‘save the world.’ Additionally, the equipment, time period, and geo-political situation draw heavily on the Second World War for inspiration, making everything familiar enough to feel like it could easily have taken place in our world, rather than some distant fantasy world. At the same time, however, there is enough change from the actual Second World War to make it a fresh and new experience and not be a mere ‘change of names to protect the innocent.’

More Annoying.

Additionally, gameplay is extremely fun and intuitive. It took me less than one battle to get my bearings and there were very few tutorial sessions. Coming off my last game (Final Fantasy XIII), where the first 20-odd hours of gameplay was essentially an extended tutorial, Valkyria Chronicles was extremely refreshing. To boot, the combat is just plain awesome. I seriously can’t get enough of it.

Die in a fire.

Lastly, Valkyria Chronicles has succeeded were almost every other RPG of the past few generations has failed: it got me interested within about 15 minutes of starting. Understand that, while I love RPGs, I despise starting them. It always feels that first few hours are like pulling teeth: with tedious fetch quests that ‘teach’ you to use different game mechanics; boring exposition scenes that try and set up the story; and multiple, painfully long explanation screens for how different mechanics work. Valkyria Chronicles was designed extremely well to either camouflage these aspects, or respect the fact that I have some intelligence and can figure most of it out on my own.

Needless to say, I’ve already broken down and played about 6 to 8 hours this week… hours I should have been studying.

I’m screwed.

Currently Playing: Final Fantasy XIII

I’ve been hitting Final Fantasy XIII pretty hard lately and have come to a rather startling hypothesis.

I think I may actually be enjoying this game… and I have no idea why.



I definitely approached XIII with a very negative bias. I read the generally poor reviews from sources I (for the most part) trust and, combined with the gameplay footage I saw, I was not looking forward to the game.

Then I started playing and, guess what? I did hate it. The first few chapters were garbage. I had no idea what was going on. Combat was too fast for me to understand what the hell was happening. The story was all Tarantino with massive out-of-order flashbacks and a confusing mythos that would only be adequately described later. I felt as if the game was driving itself and I was just along for the ride, aimlessly pushing the x-button along the way.

Then at about chapter 6 or so, I found myself playing for 6 to 7 hours on end. In all seriousness, I haven’t played a game consistently for huge chunks of time like this in over a decade. I’m a 2-3 hour at a time kind of gamer, mostly because I end up only marginal liking most games I play, so 2-3 hours is about all I can handle. But, with XIII, something is markedly different. Yeah, I can’t stand that most of the shit that comes out of Vanille’s mouth aren’t so much words, but rather squeaks, sighs, and whines. Yeah, the ‘levels’ are linear as fuck. Yeah, the Crystarium isn’t a customization system, but rather a thinly veiled linear level-up system. But, for some reason, I can handle all the (massive) negatives and am really having a pretty good time.

While playing yesterday, I mulled over this phenomenon and came to the realization that critics (myself included) have a tendency to compare any Final Fantasy to the rest of the games of the series. And, honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. Final Fantasy, has often been a hallmark game of whatever system it was on and should be a litmus test for the rest of the series. Unfortunately, I firmly believe that the Golden Age for Final Fantasy has long since past. The SNES and early PS1 days set a bar so high that Square-Enix may continue to produce quality games and never again reach that level.

With the above realization, it occurred to me that I had, not once, made a comparison between Final Fantasy XIII and any other game of the franchise. As a staunch Final Fantasy supporter for nearly 2 decades, why was I totally cool to let XIII slip through my pessimistic criticism of anything made after 1998?

(Here’s the part where I’m not going to make any friends.)

Final Fantasy XIII isn’t a Final Fantasy.

Watch Out, Steke! Don't piss off the Fanboys, or Cardboard Cloud will come for you!

Okay, let me explain. I know that since the days of FF VII there have always been critics that say this, but they are using it as a negative, whereas I am not.

Until XIII (and to a lesser extent XII), every Final Fantasy has possessed a familiarity about it. I could link the design, mechanics, and essence of the game to the rest of the series. Pressing start on any Final Fantasy, even including those I despised, was like coming home from a long trip.

But, when I turn on XIII and I don’t feel that familiarity, the comfort of something I’ve already done 12 freaking times… and it’s goddamn refreshing. It’s different. It’s new. Really, XII was the same way, it just took me 40 hours to realized that I was hating on a game simply because it wasn’t Final Fantasy VI. XIII earns mad points from me because Square-Enix took it in a new direction, it’s innovative, and it makes me want to play it.

Yeah, it’s not awesome like we’ve come to expect from Final Fantasy. Yeah, it has some... okay, many problems. But, the production value is still through the freaking roof, the music is incredible, the combat system allows for boss fights of grand scale, and it’s nothing we have really seen before. It won’t go down as my favorite of the franchise, but it sure as hell is better than X.

(Probably not making any friends with that last sentence either.)

Pure Awesome

While stalking, er, 'checking status updates' on Facebook the other day, I ran across the best thing ever conceived of by man.



That's right: MEN IN BELTED SWEATERS. What else could you possibly need. I totally want one. Especially if the sweater comes with those rockin' hats.

On the gaming front, I've been playing a lot of Tactics Ogre lately, in whatever spare time I have. And while I don't have time to go into it now, I will say that, in general, it's been pissing me off.

I'll get something up on the games I've been playing soon, but until then, bask in the glory that is belted sweaters.

Currently Playing: Tactics Buffet

Having just typed the above subject line makes me wish there actually was a game called Tactics Buffet. In fact, if you told me that there was a limited run Atlus game, that only came out in Japan and told the story of the epic Catering War between the evil Hors D'oeuvres Empire and rebellious Four Food Groups Alliance, I’d probably believe you. And, would also really want to play it.

The Buffet Wars Have Begun! Let's Attack Aggressively!

No, Tactics Buffet is my current approach to gaming. As I have alluded to before, I have a really hard time starting new games. Unless I have a good chunk of time set aside today, tomorrow, and for the next week or so, I simply do not have the motivation to launch wholeheartedly into a new game.

For me, this undoubtedly stems from my upbringing on NES and SNES sidescrollers. Back in the late 80s and early 90s, for many games, it wasn’t worth even starting, if you weren’t willing to play it excessively to the point of memorization. Granted skill and experience (which I sorely lacked) aided considerably, but those ball-busting games demanded a huge devotion of time and energy to beat.

I concede that in the current gaming world, games that require this type of mental commitment are few and far between. Occasionally, a game does come along that pays homage to the days of yore by being legitimately crazy hard, but this is by far the exception rather than the rule.

However, my NES gaming boot camp brainwashed me to such an extent that, to this day, I can’t get over the notion that a new game will take me weeks of nearly continuous play to memorize and eventually beat.

Additionally, I have a horrible character flaw: I’m a perfectionist. I have a very difficult time not trying to find every item and discover every secret. Games with branching paths and choices that affect story cause me to struggle because I know am going to miss out on a different part of the story, items, characters, and perhaps even entire levels.

With the above realizations in mind, now consider that I have recently gone through a pretty huge lifestyle change and have seen my gaming time dwindle to almost nothing. Consequently, when I do have time to play, I am inevitably drawn to my old favorites, the ones that are so ingrained in my head, that it seems like my fingers know what buttons to press based on pure instinct. But with U.N. Squadron, Super Metroid, and my other favorites I’m not making any progress. Remember, the point of this blog is to actually work through my backlog of games, not just comment on how nice they look sitting on the shelf.

Enter my favorite genre of all time: the Tactical RPG.

With my free time dwindling, TRPGs may just be my saving grace. Focusing on gameplay over pretty much all else, the TRPG allows me to play for a few hours then walk away for a day or two, perhaps even a month. When I come back, I don’t need to remember where the obscure old man in a hut told me to go to find his missing dog in order to advance the story. I don’t need to re-acclimate to the control scheme or physics engine. Nor do I need to remember exactly where the next fifteen squadrons of space fighters enter the screen. TRPGs are not a test of reaction time or level memorization, but instead rely on an analytical and systematic approach to gaming.

In fact, there is one TRPG that I have been playing fairly consistently for maybe two years without having yet beaten: Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2: Grimoire of the Rift. Overly complicated name aside, I’m currently clocked in at over 110 hours and that is just from completing all the side missions possible before advancing the story. I have no issues that the story is weak, that’s not why I play it. I play it for the battle system (which I like a heck of a lot better then the first Tactics Advance).

To add to my potpourri of Tactical RPGs, I started Tactics Ogre about a week ago and, while it currently rates above average, it’s taking some getting used to. I’ve also returned to trucking through the Final Fantasy Tactics: The Lion War for the PSP, which of course is awesome, despite the numerous issues I have with it, but I’ll save that rant for another time. Finally, I just started another DS TRPG, the port of the original Front Mission. I played the 3rd one years ago and really enjoyed it and am hoping the first is just as awesome.

So that's where I stand. I'll try and get as much game time in as I can and update as I find the time, or whenever I need to let off some steam.

Currently Playing: BioShock

Late last night, after installing what seemed like an hour worth of updates to my PS3, I decided to fire up BioShock.


Everything I have heard, seen, read, or imagined about this game indicates that it has what it takes to be an instant classic for me. Dystopian Science Fiction is probably my favorite sub-genre in all of fiction. I love the inherent mystery of a society that has risen to greatness only to fall for some unknown reason. Additionally, I find Ayn Rand’s ideas of objectivism fascinating, albeit fundamentally flawed. Lastly, I love the style of the mid-50s: the architecture, cars, propaganda type posters, the suits. It’s all just so freaking cool.

Unfortunately, I have one huge problem with BioShock.

It’s a First Person Shooter.

And, I am the King of Suck when it comes to First Person Shooters

This depressing fact, by itself, is the reason I don’t own a 360, which thrives on its ever growing staple of fantastic FPS’s. Of my fairly sizeable gaming collection, I own maybe 10 games that could be classified as First Person Shooters – and three of those are the Metroid Prime series. (In contrast, I stopped counting how many RPGs I own once I hit 100).

Do you remember way back in the 80s, when people first played Super Mario Bros? Remember how the kids who didn’t own an NES (me) would jerk the controller up when trying to jump, or would lean their entire body to the right in an attempt to get Mario over a pit by shear force of will?

Yeah, remember that guy?

Well, I’m still that guy when it comes to FPS’s. Let’s say I’m playing an FPS and am currently hiding behind a corner. Because I (justifiably) doubt my skills to charge into the next room and quickly target the dude camping there waiting to blow my head off, I instead want to take a quick peek and maybe get some intel on the approximate location of my future executioner. But instead of strafing out, taking a look around, then returning to cover, I’m sitting in my living room, craning my neck to try and see around the corner.

3d Gaming at its finest

Sorry, noob, it doesn’t quite work that way. Maybe it will with the new 3DS, but as for now, I just look like an idiot. To be honest, even with a new fangled 3D system, I’d still look like an idiot.

Additionally, I get pretty bad headaches from playing almost all First Person and most Third Person games. Either my brain isn’t keen on being tricked into thinking it is in a 3-D environment or I’m susceptible to some sort of motion sickness. However, seeing that I spent nearly 3 years serving on probably the least stable ship in the entire United States Navy and never got seasick once, I think the former is most likely the case.

I’m not happy about this flaw in my character. I would love to be able to go on XBox Live and go toe to toe with the gaming world in Modern Warfare 2. But, the reality is that I wouldn’t make it more than five steps without learning where one of the respawn points is.

I do intend to finish BioShock and I promise not to let my lack of skill color my view of this game. It just may take me a few lives (read: hundreds) and a long, looooong, time.

Currently Playing: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

A quick word on Spoilers. Because no one ever reads this blog and because I play games that have been out almost long enough to start using ‘scores’ as a unit of measure, I don’t think I am going to mark spoilers. Deal with it.

Granted, Indiana Jones: Drake’s Fortune hasn’t been out for a super long time, but with the sequel making such a huge splash last year, I feel either most people already played the first, or will ignore it in favor of its newer, more critically acclaimed brother.

As I near the end, I am completely sold on how great this game is. I love the story, the voice acting is top notch, the climbing mechanic is fun, and the visuals are fantastic. But, what really sold me was the inclusion of Nazi Zombies.

That's right. Nazi Zombies.

I’m really glad that the former occupants of the Nazi Sub Base left so much ammunition laying around for me to use to wholesale slaughter their Zombified remains.

Seriously, all of a sudden this game turned survival horror on me, I didn’t see that coming. I knew that I would end up fighting something of the super natural variety, that much was hinted from the beginning, but I never expected something as awesome as Nazi Zombies!

As of now, I'm routinely getting my ass handed to me as I try to get the power back on in the derelict Nazi Base. But, I will prevail. I will show those Nazis who's boss!

Currently Playing and a few New Additions

Phew. I am still playing Final Fantasy XII. I am beginning to seriously doubt that this game is real. Perhaps I'm stuck in my own personal video game purgatory where I must do never ending hunting side-quests and travel almost exclusively on foot through an enormous world. Maybe this is my punishment for actually sort of liking Final Fantasy X-2.

Relax, I said sort of.

Anyway, I am making progress. I think I am starting to near the end because the plot is picking up. And, by 'picking up,' I mean where the story usually negins to fall apart because they are running out of game to properly develop the third act.

In completely unrelated news, I have numerous new additions to my collection. Part of me is psyched about this (because most of my new games are awesome), but my more rational half tells me that this just puts me deeper into my never-ending black hole of a backlog.

Who cares, bring on the awesomeness!

My newest additions:

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. I was lucky enough to find this brand new and for super cheap at my local abandoned warehouse... um, I mean K-Mart. Seriously, didn't K-Mart declare bankruptcy, what a decade ago?

Carrier Aces. I picked this up on a whim at a sketchy basement used DVD/game store. After having tried it, I can firmly say that it sucks. I can also say that this is the kind of game that I would have deemed 'awesome' when I was eight, despite taking thirteen weekends worth of renting to finally get the hang of the control scheme.

BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger. I'm not very fond of fighting games. In fact, the last fighting game I really played a lot of was Killer Instinct. But, BlazBlue has all the right stuff to attract me to a game: kick ass art style, 2-D sprite based graphics, awesome backgrounds, enough of a story to keep it interesting, and lots of pretty explosions.

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Hell yes. It's about time I rounded up a copy of this. I've wanted to play this ever since someone described it as being 'sort of like Super Metroid.' Anything that remotely resembles Metroid is cool by me. I can't wait to fire up this little beauty.

Demon's Souls. I've wanted this for a while now, but never enough to actually shell out the cash. Fortunately, the girlfriend paid attention to my longing gazes at Target and gave it to me for Valentine's Day. Score! I definitely think she got the raw end of the deal... I got her Scribblenauts.

Currently Playing: Final Fantasy XII – Part 2

Holy balls. Does this game ever end? It’s like the freaking NeverEnding Story, except this time, the Princess has a name and there isn’t a luck dragon.

Fran, if Jim Henson had been in charge of character design

Right now, I’m crushing through the 60 hour point and if I had to guess, I’d say I'm at the halfway point. Maybe the two-thirds point, but that’s pretty dang optimistic.

Part of the reason I have no idea how far along I am, stems from the plot not really increasing in tension. Oh, sure, political intrigue

Want a sophisticated, complex plot? Don't forget to add a crappy translation to really bring it all together.

can be awesome. I’m a huge fan of political thrillers. But, just because it’s political in nature doesn’t really mean that it’s mature or intellectual, or even good for that matter. If I want a Final Fantasy with some serious political intrigue, backstabbing, plotting, and manipulating, I’ll stick with Tactics (which also happens to be one of the best games of all time).

Anyway, the plot fails to build in tension largely due to the expansiveness of the game. The game gives you five minutes of plot and someone telling you where to go next. Five hours later, I finally get to the designated location, fight through a mine (or something equally generic), then get the next five minutes of plot.

Don’t get me wrong. I love sidequests and having cut my teeth on the original Final Fantasy, I don’t really mind grinding either. But, when I take off to do the available sidequests and it takes in the neighborhood of 5 to 10 hours to complete them. Now that’s bullshit!

Take hunting, for example. I like doing the hunting quests, they pit me against some stronger-than-average monsters and I sometimes get good loot from beating them. It gives a pretty satisfying sense of accomplishment. But, let’s look at the time required to finish each hunt.

First – Go to a bar and look at the bills for available hunts. After selecting one, it will direct you to talk to a specific person, who usually resides on the other side of the continent.

Second – Go talk to the person indicated and accept the hunt. They will give you a fairly obvious hint of where the monster can be found, if not its outright location. Oh, and in case you’ve played through the game before and know where the monster will be found, you still can’t skip this step: the monster won’t even appear until you’ve talked to the poster of the bill.

Third – Find the monster and beat it. Most of the time, this is fairly easy as all the running around and talking to people has a nice added bonus of leveling up your characters, but on rare occasion, there might be a tougher battle.

Fourth – Go back and talk to the person who posted the bill. Seriously!? I have to walk my ass all the way back there just to get my loot? I couldn’t just, I don't know, get it from the monster when it dies? Ridiculous.

Okay, I get it. It’s more realistic this way, kind of like getting loot from monsters instead of money. Yeah, I know a vulture shouldn’t drop a bunch of cash, but it sure beats the hell out of going to a store and spending several minutes selling all the random items I collected during my 30th circumnavigation of Ivalice. All I’m saying is that I would gladly sacrifice a bit of realism for a little bit more time economy.

Like I said, I like doing the side quests and roving all over Ivalice. The problem is that all this filler takes away any tiny bit of tension that the plot is trying to build.

Whatever. Back to it I guess, maybe I'm further along than I think.

Oh, and I totally know that I can teleport from the red save crystals. Doesn't help all that much though.

Currently Playing: Final Fantasy XII

I've been playing FFXII for the first time. Instead of going on a rant, I'd like to to do something a bit different.

So instead, I'm going to sketch out a scene from Star Wars or Final Fantasy XII and you tell me which one I'm describing.

Let's get started with: Star Wars or Final Fantasy XII?

Game on.

We're going to start with our blond-haired protagonist. He's grown up in some sort of foster care, as his parents are presumed

But, I was going to Toshi station to pick up some power converters...

to have died when he was very young, perhaps in the previous war. At the beginning of the story, he spends his days running errands for an older gentlemen, but dreams of being more, perhaps becoming a pilot of some kind?

After finding himself in a bit of trouble, our hero teams up with a mercenary-scoundrel type anti-hero and his extremely tall, animal-like sidekick, who incidentally is also a very good pilot and has a knack for using various weapons including something that looks like a bow.

Apparently, Fran has really let herself go.

You must learn the ways of the Force, if you are to come with me to Alderaan.

Our ragtag team also joins forces with an aging knight who fought in the last war. Apparently, public opinion is that he failed in his role as a protector and through his actions, essentially led to the Empire becoming even more powerful.

Eventually our hero and his band find themselves near capture on a huge Imperial superweapon. Mere mention of this superweapon strikes fear into the hearts of the Empire's enemies. Fortunately, our heroes are able to evade a one-way ticket to the brig by having someone trick the dimwitted Imperial Troops by dressing in their own armor!

Once free, our heroes then locate the Princess (whom they are obviously going to save) in the detention area. After sneaking through various corridors and hallways without so much as even raising an alarm, they arrive at the detention area, only to be met by resistance. Once dispatching all the guards and their officers, our hero hurries to free the Princess before reinforcements arrive.

Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?

Despite freeing the Princess without too much trouble, our heroes failed to plan an effective escape. To complicate issues, the forced entry into the cell block has raised the alarm and Troopers throughout the vessel are now rushing to stop the rescue attempt.

The team decides to return to the

Now I am the master...

hanger to make their escape. Despite facing off against Imperial Troopers the entire way, the team makes it to their destination. Unfortunately, a malevolent man, dressed completely in unique and intimidating armor, and possessing powerful magic was there and a battle ensues. Unfortunately, the masked man is not defeated and the team must beat a hasty retreat before he is able to marshal his forces to stop them.

Escaping on a speedy vessel, our heroes barely avoid the fighters that escort the massive superweapon and are able to continue on their quest.

I sure hope the old man got that tractor beam out of commission!

Okay, I know that I am not the first to draw extensive comparisons between Star Wars and FFXII, but, seriously, this is freaking ridiculous. Nearly the entire portion of the game involving the Leviathan is a direct copy of Death Star scenes from A New Hope.

I know Square has a love of Star Wars. The addition of Biggs and Wedge into many of the FF games is a fitting Star Wars tribute. But when it comes to the Leviathan, in there simply aren't enough direct references to make the player view it as a tribute. Instead it seems like Square simply had written themselves into a corner, couldn't think of how to make a 'Save the Princess' quest fit, and said, 'Screw it, let's just copy Star Wars.