Most of the time, when perusing the used game section of a secondhand store or pawn shop, I use my keen ‘Nostalgia-Sense’ to spot games that I might like. Most often, I read through the games stacked chaotically in a glass case towards the back, and just look for a title that perhaps I rented a few times way back when, or played at a friend’s house, or maybe read about in Nintendo Power, or even simply heard on the playground that it was a good game. If I see something that meets those criteria, I usually pick it up. Granted, I’m still disappointed now and again, but it beats the heck putting energy into something like researching a game before buying it.
Super Turrican only barely meets the above requirements. Somewhere, on the periphery of my childhood videogame memory vault, there is a vague recollection of recognizing the name ‘Super Turrican.’ Unfortunately, the memory is so vague that I neither know where I heard it from, nor if it was any good. I think my sole reference may have originated from an episode of Nick Arcade, but I’m unable to find a coherent list of games that the show featured.
Regardless of where I heard of it, something in my head linked Super Turrican with being a pretty good game, so I recently picked it up. In theory, this is a game I would love: 2D shooter, with large and vaguely non-linear levels, lots of weapons and powerups, some difficult platforming, and tons of secrets to uncover. This game has all the necessary ingredients for an instant classic and there is a large, devoted fan-base out there championing the original games (for Amiga, C64, Mega Drive/Genesis, NES/SNES, to name a few). There is even a significant movement to release the nearly finished, but never published, final game of the series on the Virtual Console.
However, while the devoted fans may cry foul, I say that this game fails in almost every respect. Not that it does anything really wrong, it simply doesn’t really do anything right. The entire time playing it, all I wanted to do was play Contra 3, even from before pressing start… with the intro.
Starting out, the camera pans down through an overly colorful and star-studded sky. The term ‘bejeweled’ comes to mind. The top portion of a planet comes to dominate the bottom of the screen. It’s an inviting world with swirling lime green and pink clouds, it looks more like a mix of sherbet at Baskin Robins, than a planet.
Text types across the bottom:
Stardate… 2751-11
Planet… Katakis
Class… Mostly Harmless
Uh, what? Is it November of 2751? Does anyone actually have good reasoning behind how stardates work (I’m looking at you Star Trek)? And, what the heck does ‘Mostly Harmless’ mean? What sort of planet classification system is this? Is ‘Mostly Harmless’ right below ‘Partly Boring’ and right above ‘Entirely Apathetic’?
Anyway, cut to the rear view of a generic looking spacecraft. We never see any other aspect of this craft, other than the aft view. The narration continues, ‘Lonesome, the Avalon 1 glides through the outer reaches of the galaxy.’
Okay, I don’t think that ‘glides’ is the verb I would choose for this picture. Perhaps ‘careens’ would be a better word choice, as the crew has obviously been drinking heavily and the pilot is having a hard time staying between the lines.
Flash back to 31 Flavors Katakis,
which now is in the grip of a gargantuan person that looks like the artist got confused as to whether he was supposed to draw Shredder or Galactus. The narrator, who recently learned how to (poorly) use a thesaurus, states, ‘Suddenly, with a flash of destruction, the evil forces of The Machine conquer Katakis. Brutally, they freeze the people of this peaceful world in eternal enslavement.’
Wait. Is that Mutant Shredder-Galactus-spawn supposed to be ‘The Machine?’ He doesn’t really look like a machine. And, if he is so huge (as the image shows, he is clearly gripping the planet in his hands) and powerful enough to unleash a sudden ‘flash of destruction,’ why would he want to conquer a worthless planet that is classified as ‘mostly harmless?’ Additionally, what good are frozen people as slaves. I suppose they will last a really, really long time (or eternally as the narration suggests), but they really won’t be very productive, you know, being
frozen and all.
We return again to the rear of the Avalon 1 as it hobbles through space under direction of its inebriated pilot, ‘Justice! The cry of a billion souls floats through space and. . .
. . . Finally reaches the Avalon 1.’
Good thing Obi Wan Kenobi is onboard the Avalon to feel the disturbance of the force, otherwise I’m not sure how exactly the crew would receive the cry of all those souls floating aimlessly through space.
The camera shows the spacecraft speed off into the distance. Then we cut back to Katakis. Fortunately, The Machine has wandered off, most likely due to Katakis being a pretty boring place, you know, with everyone being frozen and all. The Avalon, then rolls crazily to the right as the sloshed pilot sets a collision course for the landing site. The text continues, ‘Approaching Katarkis, the brave fighters of the U.S.S. Freedom Forces. . .
. . . Slip into their Turrican Assault Suits, ready to risk their lives for the innocent.’
I love how in science fiction, whenever a writer is trying to make a ship or something sound militaristic and important, they title it the ‘U.S.S. Something Epic.’ Seriously, do any of those writers understand that those letters stand for United States Ship? And to even more confound matters, we already know the name of the ship is the Avalon 1. So, what the heck is the U.S.S. Freedom Forces? Given the context, it sounds more like a branch of the military, or perhaps a special forces unit, which makes even less sense. Even more ridiculous is that these hardened solders ‘slip’ into their mech suits that contain, as the back of the box states, ‘the firepower of an entire army.’ Yet, it sounds so luxurious, ‘slipping’ into these suits made for war. They might as well wear them as pajamas if they’re so comfy.
And then we cut to a climactic image of the Turrican Suit! It looks like the designers took samples of all the best mech-suit designs out there: Samus Aran, Mega Man, Ropocop, the Transformers, you name it. Once collected, they then removed all the cool parts and blindly jammed the remaining crappy pieces together to form a disjointed, impractical suit of WTF. Oh, and the background is a bunch of blurred colors flashing by. Why? Because it’s EXTREME!
It has occurred to me that I may be overly harsh on the introduction. Many games’ openers range from oddly curious to outright ridiculous. Take Contra 3’s opener which is nearly as bad. Crappy Arial font scrolls ‘The Alien Wars begin!’ across the screen and a poorly rendered Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Look-Alike-Minority saying, ‘It’s time for revenge. Let’s attack aggressively.’ (Fortunately both Arnold and his African American Clone are sporting pretty hardcore headbands, otherwise they wouldn’t stand a chance)
However, I posit that Super Turrican’s introduction sets the tone for the entire game. Nothing quite adds up in it. For example, The Machine, or the Shredder-Galactus hybrid, never makes an appearance in the game. The end boss is basically the Queen Alien from Aliens. What the heck happened to the huge, planet clutching samurai dude? And what about all those frozen slaves? You never rescue any of them, nor even see any indication whatsoever of their existence.
At least in Contra, you end up fighting the floating face you see in the opening. Likewise, you participate (and attack aggressively!) in the war against the Aliens. It even alludes to other human resistance/military acting in said war: a bomber napalms the infested city in Level 1 and an attack helicopter fires missiles at the huge battleship in Level 4.
Having made it through the Intro and actually started Super Turrican, I was completely unimpressed. Again, I reiterate that nothing was blatantly wrong: the controls fairly tight, the graphics distinct, hit detection solid, and the levels vaguely fun. But, the game refused to do almost anything truly right.
For example, why can I only fire to the left or right? The last game I played with a similar limitation was the original Metroid and that was, what, 1986? Super Turrican was published in 1993! To further compound this curiosity, one of the auxiliary weapons, the Freeze Laser, can fire in a complete 360 degree arc. I will grant, that I rarely desired to shoot other than horizontally, as the 360 range of the Freeze Laser and various gun powerups made up for the inadequacy, but the question of ‘why?’ remains.
Another adequate, but unimpressive feature were the graphics. The game makes use of the SNES’ ability to produce a huge variety of colors as well as mode 7 graphics. However, the color combinations prove too garish, bright, and overly colorful, which ultimately portrays the environments and enemies as almost childish. Compare the color choices of Contra 3 or Super Metroid to those of Super Turrican and you will see a richer color pallet with deeper tones and consequently a more mature feel.
The gameplay mechanic also left me wanting. While I am aware that the variety and style of weapons has been around, with little variation, since the original Amiga/C64 version, I still feel that it lacks refinement. The variety of secondary weapons seems a bit thrown together. Apart from the main gun, the Turrican suit can be used to stomp enemies (Mario style), it can roll into a quasi-invincible ball that lays mines (ala Metroid), the Freeze Laser temporarily freezes most enemies and has a 360 arc of fire, and there is a super attack that fires a wide beam horizontally in both directions. About half of the weaponry gives the impression that it was very loosely designed; that there was not much thought into the purpose and capabilities of the weapons, rather they were added simply to give the player options.
If the designers allowed the main gun to be targeted in 8 directions, allowed the player to switch between using the standard gun and the freeze ray (say with a press of the X or R button), combined with perhaps one of the super weapon/mega bomb attacks, the player would have had very similar capabilities, but with a much cleaner control scheme.
Finally, when I reached the final set of levels, I felt almost betrayed. The design of the enemies and level overall is a copyright infringement rip-off of the Alien trilogy and to a lesser extent the final levels of the Contra games. Seriously, Face Huggers popping out of eggs and latching onto your face; Aliens running around; and Alien heads dripping spit are the platforms of the level. The walls and platforms composed of alien body parts mimics Contra final level design. When playing through a game, I should not be reminded of another game, a better game, a game I would rather be playing.
There are other items that rubbed me wrong as well. These were simply poor design choices that, in no way, break the game, but added to the unremarkable feel.
- On the game start screen, the Select button doesn’t move between ‘Start’ and ‘Option,’ instead, it starts the game
- In some levels, the time limit can be fairly brutal, granting very little time for exploration or mistakes. This would be fine if it was standard, but some levels have strict limits, while others provide excessive leniency
- The bosses are few in number and almost comically easy to boot. I died maybe once on a boss and I think it was because I was trying to eat a PB&J sandwich and fight him at the same time
I will grant this game one concession: the music is outstanding. No howevers, no buts, no extenuating circumstances here. The musical scores are amazing. Each track perfectly fits and reflects the specific environment or level for which it was composed. Well done.
My final conclusion for Super Turrican is, unsurprisingly, that apart from the music, I am entirely unimpressed. If you played this back in the day, you will most likely have a different view, due to your nostalgia goggles. However, when presented with it for the first time, it definitely has not aged well and is average in almost every respect.
Who knew that Mario 2 had its own Exit
