Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. See, back in the good old NES days, all movie
tie-in, or license games, were titled in the same format. It would be the franchise name followed by ‘The Video Game.’ Apparently, late-1980’s consumers were so stupid,
they might get confused as to whether they were buying their favorite movie, the
comic book, the videogame, or the flamethrower.
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| Spaceballs the flamethrower! The kids love this one. |
Consequently, it was necessary to add ‘The Video Game’ to every license game under the sun. So, to amend my title:
Just Beat: Batman:
The Video Game
Batman (The Video Game)
for the NES is really notable for two things: ball crushing difficulty and
being freaking awesome. Both are true
and both have some weird inconsistencies.
As far as difficulty goes, it is very hard. However, once you learn how to clear an area
or beat a boss, those sections become fairly easy on later playthroughs. Add that to the generous inclusion of
unlimited continues, and you will soon be breezing through the game to get to
the last level, which remains fairly difficult due to some very tricky jumps
which are nearly guaranteed to result in damage (only about 5% of the time can
I make it through damage free).
Then there’s the Joker.
Somehow, he has managed to grow to about twice your size and has gained
the power to summon lightning. He also
has a gun that will take almost half your entire life. This is a pretty hard fight. I was counting
how many times I fought him, but lost track somewhere in the high
twenties.
Fortunately Batman has several weapons at his disposal and
are identified via a picture in the top left of the screen.
First, is the ever so iconic Batarang.
Then, is a missile shooting gun, which is odd given Batman’s
canonical refusal to use guns.
Next, Batman can choose to use a three way shuriken.
And finally, the most potent weapon of all: Batman?
That’s right. Most of
the game you just run through Batman-ing everyone, usually right in the
face! (Yeah, it’s really just punching,
but giving someone a fierce Batman to the balls is really way more satisfying
than just punching them.)
Apart from the difficulty, the game is known for being
awesome. Seriously, the graphics are
amazing, especially for an early NES title. Likewise,
the music is sweet! Granted it has more
of a Mega Man vibe than a Batman feel to it, but sounding like Mega Man music
is pretty high praise.
Oh, and the
ending is freaking awesome! I don’t want
to spoil it, but since the game is more than twenty years old I will – Batman flat
out murders the Joker. Seriously! He throws the Joker off the top of some huge
skyscraper. The game ends with a
birds-eye view of the Joker smashed into the sidewalk! Now that is rated M for mature!
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| Give my regards to the ground! |
However, there is one glaring issue with Batman (The Video Game). Who the hell makes the Select button pause
the game, while the Start button cycles through your weaponry?! I can’t even guess at the number of times I
would pause the game to check my phone or get a pizza out of the oven, only to
realize that I didn’t pause the game, but instead switch from Batman to
Batarang. Pure bullshit.
