I finished off Uncharted last night and I must say that this was one really solid game. Everything about it, visuals, voice acting, environments, story, music, everything was top notch.
I’m not going out on a limb by claiming this game as awesome. Nor have I discovered a sleeper hit or overlooked classic. But that won’t stop me from recommending it.
That being said, there were a few things that made me go ‘hmmm.’ And with that, I give you the Things I Learned from Uncharted:
1. The Flood Season in the tropics is brutal. Seriously, the flood was high enough to get a German U-Boat stuck on the top of a waterfall, that's pretty dang epic.
2. Secret Islands need Customs Houses for oceanic trade. I could understand a simple port to receive supplies from the Spanish homeland, but a Customs House implies that their would be foreign trade, imports and exports going to and from the island… the island that is uncharted and kept secret. That makes no sense!
3. Jumping ability is only one dimensional. Despite being able to set Olympic records in the long jump, even with a mere three foot running start, Drake can’t seem to jump higher than about two feet (provided there isn’t anything to really grab onto).
4. Spanish Colonial city planners favor building their cities below sea level. Okay, the game clearly states that Sir Francis Drake upon discovering the treasure had the unfortunate side effect of Zombie, ‘flooded the city.’ This indicates that there was something easy for Drake to destroy (like a dam or levee) to submerge the city. And, because the city is still submerged, this indicates that it simply wasn’t a floodplain, as the water would have subsided by now.
5. The Germans really make great film and small arms. Upon discovering the German Sub Base, Drake discovers the place in shambles. Everything is utterly destroyed; except of course, all those machine guns and thousands of rounds of ammunition that are still in perfect condition, as well as the film projector that is, not only in great shape and still plugged in, but also shows no sign of having been exposed to tropical humidity for nearly 60 years.
6. The jetski is the most potent military vehicle ever invented. Throughout the game Drake occasionally can pick up the powerful grenade launcher to rain almost instant death on his enemies. Unfortunately, it usually comes packing with a whole three rounds, making its usefulness extremely short-lived. But, when Elaina hops onto the back of the jetski with one, *poof* unlimited ammo. I’m surprised the military doesn’t use these more often, with the magical ability to grant limitless ammunition for whatever weapon you may be holding.
7. Spanish Catacombs have torches with eternal flames. Drake periodically discovers new areas throughout the game that apparently have never been seen by human eyes in at least 60-ish years (since the 3rd Reich made a visit). However, after finding the secret passage to some unknown catacomb, there just happen to be torches or burning chandeliers or something lighting the way. Oh, and a lot of times, dudes with machine guns happen to have made to the area that no one could find in time to lay down some suppressing fire on you.
8. Again with the Spanish Architects, this time they spare no expense. Seriously, I’ve seen Spanish colonial buildings in Central America and the Southwest United States. They are fairly small and simple affairs, not the huge and elaborate edifices that the Customs House, Fortress, and especially Monastery are. Holy nuts are those things colossal structures. Maybe the Spanish designer was making up for something?
9. Spanish and Nazi Zombies are intelligent, cooperative, and good with their hands… sometimes. The game is pretty clear that all the weird stakes, voodoo type figures and skulls all over the place are the work of the Spanish-Nazi-Zombie-Things. Additionally, these creatures had the capability to create fairly comprehensive torsion type booby traps in very tactically placed locations. These facts allude to a cooperative and intelligent Zombie community with a common goal. However, when they attack they become entirely mindless, use the brilliant tactic of ‘frontal assault’ and utilize no weaponry whatsoever: none of the prolific small arms lying all over the place, no spears, no clubs, nothing.
10. Waft unknown chemicals. Remember in high school chemistry, when trying to identify a chemical, you were taught to waft it instead of take a big old sniff? That’s right, waft with the hand. Sure enough that’s ammonia. Had you inhaled a huge sniff of that, you might have burned your nose so much that you would never smell again. Well, that lesson seemingly applies to mummies. Don’t look at the grotesque mummy and think, ‘I might as well take a huge sniff of this guy.’ Instead, try a small waft. It may just prevent you from turning into an Archeologist-Spanish-Nazi-Zombie.
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