An exercise in poor grammar, horrendous spelling, and even worse attempts at humor. Oh, and I occasionally talk about video games and stuff.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Currently Playing: Oh Shit, There Go My Grades
About 6 years ago I graduated from college with a very useful degree in Military History. Since then, the job offers I’ve had in that field have been incredibly numerous and lucrative… Okay, that’s a lie.
In reality, I realized that History, while I enjoy it and think that it’s fascinating, isn’t really my calling. I don’t want to spend years of my life researching some obscure historical event, only to write a book that will most likely be read by eight people and some poor Midshipman at the Naval Academy who, by pure chance, was assigned a report on the very event to which I devoted my entire life.
Instead, I’ve returned to school to get a degree in engineering, which is much more suited to how I think and view the world.
Naturally, I’m impatient, so I’ve completely overloaded on credits in a vain attempt to get to graduation as soon as possible. Consequently, video games have taken a distant back seat to School.
And the work seemed to be paying off. With only a bit of ego, I can say that my grades were great and the semester was shaping up nicely… until Tuesday, October 5, 2010. At approximately 9:45 in the evening, I fell head-over-heels in love.
I started playing Valkyria Chronicles.
I want to have it's babies.
The characters, while still loosely conforming to the JRPG stereotypes, seem like real 3-dimensional people. Granted, the occasional cheesy line gets in the way, but otherwise the characters are all fairly likeable. In almost every JRPG I’ve played, there is at least one character that makes me groan and say, ‘shut up, shut up, shut up!’ every time they open their mouth (I’m looking directly at you, three-quarters of all Final Fantasy characters). But, so far, I’m pretty much annoyance free right now.
The story is top notch. I truly feel that I am but a small part of a much larger war, and not just a lone group of people who fight off the entirety of the cosmos to ‘save the world.’ Additionally, the equipment, time period, and geo-political situation draw heavily on the Second World War for inspiration, making everything familiar enough to feel like it could easily have taken place in our world, rather than some distant fantasy world. At the same time, however, there is enough change from the actual Second World War to make it a fresh and new experience and not be a mere ‘change of names to protect the innocent.’
Additionally, gameplay is extremely fun and intuitive. It took me less than one battle to get my bearings and there were very few tutorial sessions. Coming off my last game (Final Fantasy XIII), where the first 20-odd hours of gameplay was essentially an extended tutorial, Valkyria Chronicles was extremely refreshing. To boot, the combat is just plain awesome. I seriously can’t get enough of it.
Lastly, Valkyria Chronicles has succeeded were almost every other RPG of the past few generations has failed: it got me interested within about 15 minutes of starting. Understand that, while I love RPGs, I despise starting them. It always feels that first few hours are like pulling teeth: with tedious fetch quests that ‘teach’ you to use different game mechanics; boring exposition scenes that try and set up the story; and multiple, painfully long explanation screens for how different mechanics work. Valkyria Chronicles was designed extremely well to either camouflage these aspects, or respect the fact that I have some intelligence and can figure most of it out on my own.
Needless to say, I’ve already broken down and played about 6 to 8 hours this week… hours I should have been studying.
I’m screwed.
In reality, I realized that History, while I enjoy it and think that it’s fascinating, isn’t really my calling. I don’t want to spend years of my life researching some obscure historical event, only to write a book that will most likely be read by eight people and some poor Midshipman at the Naval Academy who, by pure chance, was assigned a report on the very event to which I devoted my entire life.
Instead, I’ve returned to school to get a degree in engineering, which is much more suited to how I think and view the world.
Naturally, I’m impatient, so I’ve completely overloaded on credits in a vain attempt to get to graduation as soon as possible. Consequently, video games have taken a distant back seat to School.
And the work seemed to be paying off. With only a bit of ego, I can say that my grades were great and the semester was shaping up nicely… until Tuesday, October 5, 2010. At approximately 9:45 in the evening, I fell head-over-heels in love.
I started playing Valkyria Chronicles.
I want to have it's babies.
The characters, while still loosely conforming to the JRPG stereotypes, seem like real 3-dimensional people. Granted, the occasional cheesy line gets in the way, but otherwise the characters are all fairly likeable. In almost every JRPG I’ve played, there is at least one character that makes me groan and say, ‘shut up, shut up, shut up!’ every time they open their mouth (I’m looking directly at you, three-quarters of all Final Fantasy characters). But, so far, I’m pretty much annoyance free right now.
The story is top notch. I truly feel that I am but a small part of a much larger war, and not just a lone group of people who fight off the entirety of the cosmos to ‘save the world.’ Additionally, the equipment, time period, and geo-political situation draw heavily on the Second World War for inspiration, making everything familiar enough to feel like it could easily have taken place in our world, rather than some distant fantasy world. At the same time, however, there is enough change from the actual Second World War to make it a fresh and new experience and not be a mere ‘change of names to protect the innocent.’
Additionally, gameplay is extremely fun and intuitive. It took me less than one battle to get my bearings and there were very few tutorial sessions. Coming off my last game (Final Fantasy XIII), where the first 20-odd hours of gameplay was essentially an extended tutorial, Valkyria Chronicles was extremely refreshing. To boot, the combat is just plain awesome. I seriously can’t get enough of it.
Lastly, Valkyria Chronicles has succeeded were almost every other RPG of the past few generations has failed: it got me interested within about 15 minutes of starting. Understand that, while I love RPGs, I despise starting them. It always feels that first few hours are like pulling teeth: with tedious fetch quests that ‘teach’ you to use different game mechanics; boring exposition scenes that try and set up the story; and multiple, painfully long explanation screens for how different mechanics work. Valkyria Chronicles was designed extremely well to either camouflage these aspects, or respect the fact that I have some intelligence and can figure most of it out on my own.
Needless to say, I’ve already broken down and played about 6 to 8 hours this week… hours I should have been studying.
I’m screwed.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Just Beat: Final Fantasy XIII
In middle school, I borrowed Final Fantasy VI from Ryan Bristol, and fell head over heals in love with it.
For the next few years, I played it constantly. Having entered the Final Fantasy scene a bit late, VI was the only game of the franchise I was able to get my hands on (well, except for FF Legends and Mystic Quest, but those don’t really count). Consequently, when I discovered that Final Fantasy VII was coming out for the PS1, I had my first chance to play a sequel to one of my favorite games.
Realize that I had never played another Final Fantasy and didn’t understand that each of the games was wholly unique. My view of sequels was based on growing up in the 8 and 16-bit areas when a sequel was nothing more than better levels, cooler power-ups, maybe a bit more story. To us, sequels like Mario 3, Super Metroid, Mega Man II+, and A Link to the Past, where the same game we fell in love with, just with more awesome.
And yes, there were sequels that didn’t fit this mold. Mario 2 and The Adventure of Link were drastically different than their originals. But in the gaming circle I grew up in, these games were universally shunned for not being what I described above.
Anyway, my point is, I expected that Final Fantasy VII would simply be a larger, more awesome, evolution of VI.
Instead, Final Fantasy VII completely blew my mind. It was not my SNES Final Fantasy. Sure, there were nods to previous games. The names, items, and spells were similar, but this merely created a Final Fantasy atmosphere, more than anything else. It was neither a continuation of the story, nor a simple evolution of the previous game. Final Fantasy VII was something entirely unique.
Let me (finally) get to the point.
At the start of Final Fantasy VII, you are confined to a relatively linear and restrictive setting and plot. The story takes you from one point to the next, with no possibility to break from the point A to B map sections that link the various plot locations. The setting is a mega city named Midgar and is powered by eight huge Mako reactors. Right off the bat, you destroy one of those reactors and soon thereafter take out a second.
Given the story makes it absolutely clear that there are eight such reactors, I naively assumed the rest of the game would center on the destruction of the remaining six. Although I really do enjoy this part of the game, my first time through, I missed the exploration component inherent in an expansive overworld, like the one I experienced in FF VI.
FF VII disappointed me by removing one of the primary tenants of Final Fantasy that I found really attractive: the freedom to roam the world and explore regions that may or may not take me to the next objective. I loved being able to see what would happen if I went to a town that didn’t enter into the story until much later, or go to some remote location to find items significantly more powerful than my current stock.
So, imagine my disappointment, when I thought that Midgar was the entirety of my world in FFVII. Then imagine my undeniable awe in discovering that; after hours confined in a restrictive, dark, and imposing city; I emerged onto a sunny and expansive overworld.
‘Holy Balls! This game is effing huge!’ I said (well something along those lines).
Okay, so why do I tell this long-winded, meandering, and mostly useless story? Well, the last time I posted about Final Fantasy XIII, I had just landed on the lower world of Pulse. I had given a fairly glowing report of the game to this point; contrary to the nearly universal distaste for the game. Understand that I had just played 20 to 30 hours of a completely linear (and somewhat enjoyable) game and had finally gained access to Pulse. An entire planet awaited my exploration.
I was thrilled at the possibilities Pulse offered. I had spent hours witnessing the fear Cocoon’s citizens had of a Pulse invasion. During my time on Cocoon, I was constantly ostracized and pursued. As something called a ‘Pulse L’cie,’ my party was tasked by meddling god-like beings known as Fal’cie with the utter destruction of Cocoon. Despite rejecting this tasking, Cocoon’s populace, justifiably, wanted my party dead. Having finally fled Cocoon, I was convinced that, during my exploration of Pulse, I would see the other side of the story.
I imagined a host of possibilities, each having sprawling ramifications on the story. Maybe the citizens of Pulse would welcome my party as saviors because of their status as Pulse L’cie? Or on the other hand, maybe Lighting and her friends would be hunted down for swearing off their mission to destroy Cocoon? Do the citizens of Pulse even reciprocate Cocoon’s fear, hatred, and distrust? Do the citizens of Pulse even know Cocoon believes the two worlds are still at war? Perhaps Cocoon is the true evil power and has been subjugated Pulse since the previous war? Maybe there is a true Cold War and arms race brewing between the two worlds and my party is sending both of them dangerously close to an all out apocalyptic war?
I was eager to get this side of the story. The possibilities were limitless.
With the planet of Pulse awaiting my exploration, I felt the same as when I first stepped outside Midgar and had to shield my eyes from the bright sunlight. I couldn’t wait to see where exploration and the story took me.
My enthusiasm was quickly and brutally crushed. I learned that there were no cities, no people, no war, and definitely no world to explore. Yeah, I know: spoiler alert. Deal with it.
That’s right, after finally ‘opening up,’ there is jack shit to do. Pulse is a world of several huge areas linked together and populated by a bunch of monsters. That’s it. End of story. Oh sure, you can take on the different sidequest hunts, but these are relatively boring, and apart from unlocking some log entries, truly don’t contribute to much.
Pulse should have been the real meat of the game, where player driven exploration could have resulted in an astonishing amount of depth. Instead, it’s merely a brief diversion before the game’s final conclusion.
If Pulse is where my enthusiasm ended, then my return to Cocoon was where it turned to outright hostility. Usually, I don’t complain (much) if the story component of a game is weak. I truly value gameplay, pretty graphics, and awesome music more than the story. Perhaps I’ve just come to terms with the fact that video game stories mostly suck, but FFXIII crosses the proverbial line.
(I suppose Spoilers are ahead, but they don’t make much sense anyway, so it really doesn’t matter).
Upon returning to Cocoon, I discovered Cid had been appointed Prime Minister (or Chancellor, or whatever). This made little to no sense for several reasons. First, I had already killed Cid. I watched him die. Granted he turned to crystal and, I suppose a Fal’cie could bring him back, but it still seemed sudden and contrived. Second, Cid’s appointment was designed to destabilize Cocoon and essentially lead to civil war.
Um, What?
How does that work?
I understand that Cid and his cavalry were fighting against Fal’cie dominance over Cocoon, but wouldn’t his followers be happy that he was made Prime Minister? I understand that his position only put him under closer scrutiny from the Fal’cie, but I feel that from this position, he could orchestrate large, sweeping changes that could unify the people and eventually cast down or mitigate the Fal’cie.
Then, in the midst of this confusing plot revelation, I witnessed the most ridiculous cutscene and ‘plot development’ ever conceived of by man.
Cid gives an inaugural address where he promises to keep Cocoon safe and blah, blah, blah. He then shows his resolve. Much like a nation that is under the constant threat of invasion, he holds a military demonstration to showcase the strength and might of Cocoon’s armed forces, and…
Wait.
He doesn’t do that.
He holds a motorcycle race.
I’ll let that sink in.
A motorcycle race. That’s like holding a Nascar race in Washington DC after a newly appointed President makes his inaugural address.
Then your party comes crashing into said motorcycle race and activates their respective eidolons and start wrecking shop. Then Pulse attacks… I think. Well, a bunch of monsters from Pulse start roaming around. And, I guess this started a civil war? Hell, I don’t know. This ended it for me. I had no idea what was going on, and just pushed onward to beat the game.
What the hell happened? In the last eighth of the game, I completely reversed from ‘having a blast playing it’ to ‘screw this shit, let’s just get it over with.’
Ugh.
Having said that, I still rank Final Fantasy XIII as a game I’d play again. Someday. In the far, far, future. It has some challenging bosses, mainly due to the imposed ‘limit caps.’ Likewise, I enjoyed the (controversial) battle system. I really, really liked the music (except about four exceptions, which I hated). And, for the first time in a long, long time, I actually like the main character, Lightning. Hell, even Hope and Vanille, who I started out despising, grew on me (a little). On the one hand, FFXIII is good enough to warrant another playthrough someday. Yeah, someday when the only games left are casual Kinect and Move games that I stubbornly will not play, and I’ve gone through the majority of my backlog. Yeah, I might replay it again. However, on the other hand, it’s definitely not good enough for me to really recommend to anyone.
For the next few years, I played it constantly. Having entered the Final Fantasy scene a bit late, VI was the only game of the franchise I was able to get my hands on (well, except for FF Legends and Mystic Quest, but those don’t really count). Consequently, when I discovered that Final Fantasy VII was coming out for the PS1, I had my first chance to play a sequel to one of my favorite games.
Realize that I had never played another Final Fantasy and didn’t understand that each of the games was wholly unique. My view of sequels was based on growing up in the 8 and 16-bit areas when a sequel was nothing more than better levels, cooler power-ups, maybe a bit more story. To us, sequels like Mario 3, Super Metroid, Mega Man II+, and A Link to the Past, where the same game we fell in love with, just with more awesome.
And yes, there were sequels that didn’t fit this mold. Mario 2 and The Adventure of Link were drastically different than their originals. But in the gaming circle I grew up in, these games were universally shunned for not being what I described above.
Anyway, my point is, I expected that Final Fantasy VII would simply be a larger, more awesome, evolution of VI.
Instead, Final Fantasy VII completely blew my mind. It was not my SNES Final Fantasy. Sure, there were nods to previous games. The names, items, and spells were similar, but this merely created a Final Fantasy atmosphere, more than anything else. It was neither a continuation of the story, nor a simple evolution of the previous game. Final Fantasy VII was something entirely unique.
Let me (finally) get to the point.
At the start of Final Fantasy VII, you are confined to a relatively linear and restrictive setting and plot. The story takes you from one point to the next, with no possibility to break from the point A to B map sections that link the various plot locations. The setting is a mega city named Midgar and is powered by eight huge Mako reactors. Right off the bat, you destroy one of those reactors and soon thereafter take out a second.
Given the story makes it absolutely clear that there are eight such reactors, I naively assumed the rest of the game would center on the destruction of the remaining six. Although I really do enjoy this part of the game, my first time through, I missed the exploration component inherent in an expansive overworld, like the one I experienced in FF VI.
FF VII disappointed me by removing one of the primary tenants of Final Fantasy that I found really attractive: the freedom to roam the world and explore regions that may or may not take me to the next objective. I loved being able to see what would happen if I went to a town that didn’t enter into the story until much later, or go to some remote location to find items significantly more powerful than my current stock.
So, imagine my disappointment, when I thought that Midgar was the entirety of my world in FFVII. Then imagine my undeniable awe in discovering that; after hours confined in a restrictive, dark, and imposing city; I emerged onto a sunny and expansive overworld.
‘Holy Balls! This game is effing huge!’ I said (well something along those lines).
Okay, so why do I tell this long-winded, meandering, and mostly useless story? Well, the last time I posted about Final Fantasy XIII, I had just landed on the lower world of Pulse. I had given a fairly glowing report of the game to this point; contrary to the nearly universal distaste for the game. Understand that I had just played 20 to 30 hours of a completely linear (and somewhat enjoyable) game and had finally gained access to Pulse. An entire planet awaited my exploration.
I was thrilled at the possibilities Pulse offered. I had spent hours witnessing the fear Cocoon’s citizens had of a Pulse invasion. During my time on Cocoon, I was constantly ostracized and pursued. As something called a ‘Pulse L’cie,’ my party was tasked by meddling god-like beings known as Fal’cie with the utter destruction of Cocoon. Despite rejecting this tasking, Cocoon’s populace, justifiably, wanted my party dead. Having finally fled Cocoon, I was convinced that, during my exploration of Pulse, I would see the other side of the story.
I imagined a host of possibilities, each having sprawling ramifications on the story. Maybe the citizens of Pulse would welcome my party as saviors because of their status as Pulse L’cie? Or on the other hand, maybe Lighting and her friends would be hunted down for swearing off their mission to destroy Cocoon? Do the citizens of Pulse even reciprocate Cocoon’s fear, hatred, and distrust? Do the citizens of Pulse even know Cocoon believes the two worlds are still at war? Perhaps Cocoon is the true evil power and has been subjugated Pulse since the previous war? Maybe there is a true Cold War and arms race brewing between the two worlds and my party is sending both of them dangerously close to an all out apocalyptic war?
I was eager to get this side of the story. The possibilities were limitless.
With the planet of Pulse awaiting my exploration, I felt the same as when I first stepped outside Midgar and had to shield my eyes from the bright sunlight. I couldn’t wait to see where exploration and the story took me.
My enthusiasm was quickly and brutally crushed. I learned that there were no cities, no people, no war, and definitely no world to explore. Yeah, I know: spoiler alert. Deal with it.
That’s right, after finally ‘opening up,’ there is jack shit to do. Pulse is a world of several huge areas linked together and populated by a bunch of monsters. That’s it. End of story. Oh sure, you can take on the different sidequest hunts, but these are relatively boring, and apart from unlocking some log entries, truly don’t contribute to much.
Pulse should have been the real meat of the game, where player driven exploration could have resulted in an astonishing amount of depth. Instead, it’s merely a brief diversion before the game’s final conclusion.
If Pulse is where my enthusiasm ended, then my return to Cocoon was where it turned to outright hostility. Usually, I don’t complain (much) if the story component of a game is weak. I truly value gameplay, pretty graphics, and awesome music more than the story. Perhaps I’ve just come to terms with the fact that video game stories mostly suck, but FFXIII crosses the proverbial line.
(I suppose Spoilers are ahead, but they don’t make much sense anyway, so it really doesn’t matter).
Upon returning to Cocoon, I discovered Cid had been appointed Prime Minister (or Chancellor, or whatever). This made little to no sense for several reasons. First, I had already killed Cid. I watched him die. Granted he turned to crystal and, I suppose a Fal’cie could bring him back, but it still seemed sudden and contrived. Second, Cid’s appointment was designed to destabilize Cocoon and essentially lead to civil war.
Um, What?
How does that work?
I understand that Cid and his cavalry were fighting against Fal’cie dominance over Cocoon, but wouldn’t his followers be happy that he was made Prime Minister? I understand that his position only put him under closer scrutiny from the Fal’cie, but I feel that from this position, he could orchestrate large, sweeping changes that could unify the people and eventually cast down or mitigate the Fal’cie.
Then, in the midst of this confusing plot revelation, I witnessed the most ridiculous cutscene and ‘plot development’ ever conceived of by man.
Cid gives an inaugural address where he promises to keep Cocoon safe and blah, blah, blah. He then shows his resolve. Much like a nation that is under the constant threat of invasion, he holds a military demonstration to showcase the strength and might of Cocoon’s armed forces, and…
Wait.
He doesn’t do that.
He holds a motorcycle race.
I’ll let that sink in.
A motorcycle race. That’s like holding a Nascar race in Washington DC after a newly appointed President makes his inaugural address.
Then your party comes crashing into said motorcycle race and activates their respective eidolons and start wrecking shop. Then Pulse attacks… I think. Well, a bunch of monsters from Pulse start roaming around. And, I guess this started a civil war? Hell, I don’t know. This ended it for me. I had no idea what was going on, and just pushed onward to beat the game.
What the hell happened? In the last eighth of the game, I completely reversed from ‘having a blast playing it’ to ‘screw this shit, let’s just get it over with.’
Ugh.
Having said that, I still rank Final Fantasy XIII as a game I’d play again. Someday. In the far, far, future. It has some challenging bosses, mainly due to the imposed ‘limit caps.’ Likewise, I enjoyed the (controversial) battle system. I really, really liked the music (except about four exceptions, which I hated). And, for the first time in a long, long time, I actually like the main character, Lightning. Hell, even Hope and Vanille, who I started out despising, grew on me (a little). On the one hand, FFXIII is good enough to warrant another playthrough someday. Yeah, someday when the only games left are casual Kinect and Move games that I stubbornly will not play, and I’ve gone through the majority of my backlog. Yeah, I might replay it again. However, on the other hand, it’s definitely not good enough for me to really recommend to anyone.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Currently Playing: Final Fantasy XIII
I’ve been hitting Final Fantasy XIII pretty hard lately and have come to a rather startling hypothesis.
I think I may actually be enjoying this game… and I have no idea why.
I definitely approached XIII with a very negative bias. I read the generally poor reviews from sources I (for the most part) trust and, combined with the gameplay footage I saw, I was not looking forward to the game.
Then I started playing and, guess what? I did hate it. The first few chapters were garbage. I had no idea what was going on. Combat was too fast for me to understand what the hell was happening. The story was all Tarantino with massive out-of-order flashbacks and a confusing mythos that would only be adequately described later. I felt as if the game was driving itself and I was just along for the ride, aimlessly pushing the x-button along the way.
Then at about chapter 6 or so, I found myself playing for 6 to 7 hours on end. In all seriousness, I haven’t played a game consistently for huge chunks of time like this in over a decade. I’m a 2-3 hour at a time kind of gamer, mostly because I end up only marginal liking most games I play, so 2-3 hours is about all I can handle. But, with XIII, something is markedly different. Yeah, I can’t stand that most of the shit that comes out of Vanille’s mouth aren’t so much words, but rather squeaks, sighs, and whines. Yeah, the ‘levels’ are linear as fuck. Yeah, the Crystarium isn’t a customization system, but rather a thinly veiled linear level-up system. But, for some reason, I can handle all the (massive) negatives and am really having a pretty good time.
While playing yesterday, I mulled over this phenomenon and came to the realization that critics (myself included) have a tendency to compare any Final Fantasy to the rest of the games of the series. And, honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. Final Fantasy, has often been a hallmark game of whatever system it was on and should be a litmus test for the rest of the series. Unfortunately, I firmly believe that the Golden Age for Final Fantasy has long since past. The SNES and early PS1 days set a bar so high that Square-Enix may continue to produce quality games and never again reach that level.
With the above realization, it occurred to me that I had, not once, made a comparison between Final Fantasy XIII and any other game of the franchise. As a staunch Final Fantasy supporter for nearly 2 decades, why was I totally cool to let XIII slip through my pessimistic criticism of anything made after 1998?
(Here’s the part where I’m not going to make any friends.)
Final Fantasy XIII isn’t a Final Fantasy.
Okay, let me explain. I know that since the days of FF VII there have always been critics that say this, but they are using it as a negative, whereas I am not.
Until XIII (and to a lesser extent XII), every Final Fantasy has possessed a familiarity about it. I could link the design, mechanics, and essence of the game to the rest of the series. Pressing start on any Final Fantasy, even including those I despised, was like coming home from a long trip.
But, when I turn on XIII and I don’t feel that familiarity, the comfort of something I’ve already done 12 freaking times… and it’s goddamn refreshing. It’s different. It’s new. Really, XII was the same way, it just took me 40 hours to realized that I was hating on a game simply because it wasn’t Final Fantasy VI. XIII earns mad points from me because Square-Enix took it in a new direction, it’s innovative, and it makes me want to play it.
Yeah, it’s not awesome like we’ve come to expect from Final Fantasy. Yeah, it has some... okay, many problems. But, the production value is still through the freaking roof, the music is incredible, the combat system allows for boss fights of grand scale, and it’s nothing we have really seen before. It won’t go down as my favorite of the franchise, but it sure as hell is better than X.
(Probably not making any friends with that last sentence either.)
I think I may actually be enjoying this game… and I have no idea why.
I definitely approached XIII with a very negative bias. I read the generally poor reviews from sources I (for the most part) trust and, combined with the gameplay footage I saw, I was not looking forward to the game.
Then I started playing and, guess what? I did hate it. The first few chapters were garbage. I had no idea what was going on. Combat was too fast for me to understand what the hell was happening. The story was all Tarantino with massive out-of-order flashbacks and a confusing mythos that would only be adequately described later. I felt as if the game was driving itself and I was just along for the ride, aimlessly pushing the x-button along the way.
Then at about chapter 6 or so, I found myself playing for 6 to 7 hours on end. In all seriousness, I haven’t played a game consistently for huge chunks of time like this in over a decade. I’m a 2-3 hour at a time kind of gamer, mostly because I end up only marginal liking most games I play, so 2-3 hours is about all I can handle. But, with XIII, something is markedly different. Yeah, I can’t stand that most of the shit that comes out of Vanille’s mouth aren’t so much words, but rather squeaks, sighs, and whines. Yeah, the ‘levels’ are linear as fuck. Yeah, the Crystarium isn’t a customization system, but rather a thinly veiled linear level-up system. But, for some reason, I can handle all the (massive) negatives and am really having a pretty good time.
While playing yesterday, I mulled over this phenomenon and came to the realization that critics (myself included) have a tendency to compare any Final Fantasy to the rest of the games of the series. And, honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. Final Fantasy, has often been a hallmark game of whatever system it was on and should be a litmus test for the rest of the series. Unfortunately, I firmly believe that the Golden Age for Final Fantasy has long since past. The SNES and early PS1 days set a bar so high that Square-Enix may continue to produce quality games and never again reach that level.
With the above realization, it occurred to me that I had, not once, made a comparison between Final Fantasy XIII and any other game of the franchise. As a staunch Final Fantasy supporter for nearly 2 decades, why was I totally cool to let XIII slip through my pessimistic criticism of anything made after 1998?
(Here’s the part where I’m not going to make any friends.)
Final Fantasy XIII isn’t a Final Fantasy.
Okay, let me explain. I know that since the days of FF VII there have always been critics that say this, but they are using it as a negative, whereas I am not.
Until XIII (and to a lesser extent XII), every Final Fantasy has possessed a familiarity about it. I could link the design, mechanics, and essence of the game to the rest of the series. Pressing start on any Final Fantasy, even including those I despised, was like coming home from a long trip.
But, when I turn on XIII and I don’t feel that familiarity, the comfort of something I’ve already done 12 freaking times… and it’s goddamn refreshing. It’s different. It’s new. Really, XII was the same way, it just took me 40 hours to realized that I was hating on a game simply because it wasn’t Final Fantasy VI. XIII earns mad points from me because Square-Enix took it in a new direction, it’s innovative, and it makes me want to play it.
Yeah, it’s not awesome like we’ve come to expect from Final Fantasy. Yeah, it has some... okay, many problems. But, the production value is still through the freaking roof, the music is incredible, the combat system allows for boss fights of grand scale, and it’s nothing we have really seen before. It won’t go down as my favorite of the franchise, but it sure as hell is better than X.
(Probably not making any friends with that last sentence either.)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Anyone who talks to me about videogames for any length of time will soon learn that one of my favorite games of all time is U.N. Squadron for the SNES.
I freaking love this game and due to the excessive amount of time I’ve spent playing it, I’ve gotten ridiculously good at it. No kidding, if I had to point to one game that I can legitimately say I’ve mastered, it would be U.N. Squadron.
Heck, it’s even gotten to the point where I add restrictions to myself to make it more challenging. Why not trying to beat the game on Hard with only using the worst plane? How about beat it on Gamer mode? Okay, now beat it on Gamer mode without using Greg? Okay, now beat it on Gamer mode without using Greg AND without Special Weapons? And now, beat it on Gamer mode without using Greg, Special Weapons, or getting a single weapon powerup?
Alright, you caught me, I wasn’t able to complete the last two of those challenges. I honestly don’t think it would be possible to do those last two. But, you get the idea.
Because of my love for U.N. Squadron, the Arcade version has been sort of my own personal Moby Dick. I vaguely remember playing it a few times at the arcade in the mall, but that was before I was even in middle school. My only recollection was of how much harder (and how different) it was from the SNES version.
Since those days, I’ve always checked every (increasingly rare) arcade that I run across to see if they have the cabinet, but alas, they never do. I have seen a few clips of people playing online, but they are almost always using an emulator.
Needless to say, I had pretty much resigned myself to the realization that I would never really be able to experience this game on my own.
...Until I found someone asking way too much for one on Ebay! So, I did what any reasonable person without a job would do, I bought it - and it is glorious!
I freaking love this game and due to the excessive amount of time I’ve spent playing it, I’ve gotten ridiculously good at it. No kidding, if I had to point to one game that I can legitimately say I’ve mastered, it would be U.N. Squadron.
Heck, it’s even gotten to the point where I add restrictions to myself to make it more challenging. Why not trying to beat the game on Hard with only using the worst plane? How about beat it on Gamer mode? Okay, now beat it on Gamer mode without using Greg? Okay, now beat it on Gamer mode without using Greg AND without Special Weapons? And now, beat it on Gamer mode without using Greg, Special Weapons, or getting a single weapon powerup?
Alright, you caught me, I wasn’t able to complete the last two of those challenges. I honestly don’t think it would be possible to do those last two. But, you get the idea.
Because of my love for U.N. Squadron, the Arcade version has been sort of my own personal Moby Dick. I vaguely remember playing it a few times at the arcade in the mall, but that was before I was even in middle school. My only recollection was of how much harder (and how different) it was from the SNES version.
Since those days, I’ve always checked every (increasingly rare) arcade that I run across to see if they have the cabinet, but alas, they never do. I have seen a few clips of people playing online, but they are almost always using an emulator.
Needless to say, I had pretty much resigned myself to the realization that I would never really be able to experience this game on my own.
...Until I found someone asking way too much for one on Ebay! So, I did what any reasonable person without a job would do, I bought it - and it is glorious!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Shooting in the Dark
Destructoid recently posted a job opening for a paid internship for a video game reviewer. Each applicant is required to make a short 1 minute video about a new game he loved or hated, or on a recent video game topic posted on Destructoid.
Despite high chances of being the one video that the good folks at Destructoid use as the example of what not to do, I decided to enter. I fully expect that I am not they type of person they are looking for.
Because of my non-existent chance of even being considered for the job, I took a bit of artistic liberty with the video requirements and decided to give a little rant about something that has been on my mind for a while.
Since E-3 there have been some journalists praising Bungie for making Halo: Reach cross genre with the inclusion of a Space Combat section. Check out the (shoddy) video here.
Unfortunately, one minute is not nearly long enough for my rambling self to fit in everything I wanted to say on the topic. For example: is the rest of humanity's Armed Forces entirely incompetent? I mean seriously, do we really need a Spartan to do everything? Wouldn't there be, I don't know, PILOTS to do this sort of job. Additionally, do you really expect me to believe that Spartans somehow know how to fly a Space Fighter? That's not something you exactly 'just pick up on' during a weekend class. That's the equivalent of a modern day Navy Seal knowing how to pilot the freaking Space Shuttle.
Despite high chances of being the one video that the good folks at Destructoid use as the example of what not to do, I decided to enter. I fully expect that I am not they type of person they are looking for.
Because of my non-existent chance of even being considered for the job, I took a bit of artistic liberty with the video requirements and decided to give a little rant about something that has been on my mind for a while.
Since E-3 there have been some journalists praising Bungie for making Halo: Reach cross genre with the inclusion of a Space Combat section. Check out the (shoddy) video here.
Unfortunately, one minute is not nearly long enough for my rambling self to fit in everything I wanted to say on the topic. For example: is the rest of humanity's Armed Forces entirely incompetent? I mean seriously, do we really need a Spartan to do everything? Wouldn't there be, I don't know, PILOTS to do this sort of job. Additionally, do you really expect me to believe that Spartans somehow know how to fly a Space Fighter? That's not something you exactly 'just pick up on' during a weekend class. That's the equivalent of a modern day Navy Seal knowing how to pilot the freaking Space Shuttle.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Just Beat: Tactics Ogre
Allow me to apologize in advance for any typos I make of the name ‘Tactics Ogre.’ Apparently, my brain continually wants to go all dyslexic on it and make it Ogre Tactics. Doesn’t that make more sense, fit better with the general ‘Ogre Battle’ series, and just plain roll of the tongue better?
Perhaps my continual inability to get the game’s title correct was a sign that pretty much nothing about this game would sit well with me. My overall feelings towards Tactics Ogre are neither positive nor negative, but conversely I am definitely not ambivalent nor neutral about it. Maybe it would be better to say that I am both strongly positive and strongly negative about the game.
Ugh, now I am just confusing myself. I guess my feelings about Tactics Ogre can best be put that they are like a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.
Why such a conflict of emotions on this game? We may as well start at the beginning…
Knowing that the choices I made throughout the game would have a profound impact on the story, I chose not to do any research before starting my playthrough. While I’m not a huge stickler about spoilers, I wanted to go through this one cold, with absolutely no preconceived notions.
Consequently, I was left scratching my head early on with the Tactics Ogre’s plentiful and overarching similarities to another ‘Tactics’ game of the Final Fantasy variety, that I happen to know extremely well. As I played on, I began to get a very sour taste in my mouth: I was playing a crappy clone of Final Fantasy Tactics! How dare the Ogre Battle series rip off one of my favorite games of all time! This would not do!
With my initial impression one of building hatred and anger, I decided it was time to go to the internet and thus I received an education in what I should have already known as someone who considers himself a Gamer with a Masters Degree in Tactical RPGs. First Tactics Ogre was a PS1 port of the original Super Famicon game, so it predated Final Fantasy Tactics by a good number of years. Second, the game was the brainchild of Yasumi Matsuno, who would later go on to direct Final Fantasy Tactics.
In the time it takes to read a Wikipedia entry, my opinion of Tactics Ogre changed 180 degrees. Instead of a poorly done clone, Ogre Tactics (doh!) was revolutionary and implemented (albeit in unpolished forms) mechanics and ideas that would later be perfected in Final Fantasy Tactics.
Given the startling similarities between the two games, it would not be surprising if Yasumi Matsuno didn’t think of Final Fantasy Tactics as a remake of Tactics Ogre and an opportunity to fix any problems from his original masterpiece.
Even with the knowledge of Tactics Ogre being the ‘spiritual predecessor’ to one of my favorite games, I still have a hard time determining how I feel. Every major positive has a rather glaring negative just sitting there staring at you. Similarly, major faults also seem to contain profound positives.
For example, I enjoy the difficulty of Tactics Ogre. When playing at or near the levels of the enemy, the battles are challenging and require more than a bit of tactical thought. Most story battles cannot be won be simply conducting a mass charge with melee weapons.
The flip side is that, since the ability to revive dead characters only becomes available late in the game, when a character is killed, they are more or less gone for good. Thus, when a party member died, I hit the reset button. Given the above mentioned challenge, I ended up hitting the reset button a lot, which began to get increasingly frustrating. This frustration was compounded by the AI ganging up on wounded characters (a positive, as it’s a sound tactic that anyone with half a brain would use) and also seem to possess increased stats compared to my characters of comparable level and equipment (a negative, as well designed games don’t need to rely on cheating AI).
My resulting frustration would either lead to getting fed up and not touching a controller for five days or, ultimately leveling up way beyond the AI level, and consequently removing the afore mentioned challenge.
Another example centers on the job system. The character customization process is very diverse and allows quite a bit of flexibility. Want your Wizard to be equipped with a sword and shield? Go for it. There are no ‘this character can’t equip that’ messages here. Naturally, equipping a sword would reduce the Wizard’s magic power and he would still suck as a melee fighter, but if you wanted to do it, you could.
The down side however, after the first four or five hours of gameplay, I found a team that worked for me, and I never changed it the remainder of the game (with the exception of equipping some new weapons here or there). In fact, in order to prevent my characters from dying, almost all my characters were indirect attackers: i.e. archers. You see, an indirect attack, whether by bow, crossbow, shuriken, etc does not let the enemy counter attack, whereas a direct (melee) attack does. And, remember that I’m trying to prevent characters from dying, so keeping my distance and limiting the amount of damage by not giving the enemy the opportunity to counter attack seemed like a pretty solid plan.
In fact it was such a solid plan, that my party of 2 Archers, 2 Valkyries (with bows), Canopus (with a bow), 2 healers, a Wizard, a Swordsman, and a Bezerker (crossbow), were able to handle anything the game threw at them, with maybe two exceptions. Remember, I hit upon this combination at hour 5 of a 50 hour game. That’s 45 hours of essentially the same battle set up over and over and over…
The above examples are just the tip of the iceberg for the two-sided aspects of the game. Consequently, it has been hard to determine how I exactly feel about the game. On the one hand, I would replay this game in a heartbeat. If it were not for my ever increasing backlog of unplayed games, I would start a new game of Tactics Ogre today. The branching story and bonus dungeon that I only started exploring, plus all the abilities and items that I didn’t get or experiment fully with, all call me back to Tactics Ogre and make it a game I want to play.
But, on the other hand, I’m not sure I recommend it. I suppose if Tactical RPGs are your bread and butter, than yeah, go find a copy. But, even for Tactical RPG buffs, there are plenty of much more refined tactical games out there (to be fair, there are a lot worse too – Eternal Eyes anyone?). Likewise, Tactics Ogre has not aged well when compared to other Tactical RPGs of the past few generations. While Japan has a huge Tactics Ogre fan base, here in the US, the game has (at best) a cult following. Go ahead and count me as one of the members of that fan base, but I think those numbers are quite thin.
Perhaps my continual inability to get the game’s title correct was a sign that pretty much nothing about this game would sit well with me. My overall feelings towards Tactics Ogre are neither positive nor negative, but conversely I am definitely not ambivalent nor neutral about it. Maybe it would be better to say that I am both strongly positive and strongly negative about the game.
Ugh, now I am just confusing myself. I guess my feelings about Tactics Ogre can best be put that they are like a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.
Why such a conflict of emotions on this game? We may as well start at the beginning…
Knowing that the choices I made throughout the game would have a profound impact on the story, I chose not to do any research before starting my playthrough. While I’m not a huge stickler about spoilers, I wanted to go through this one cold, with absolutely no preconceived notions.
Consequently, I was left scratching my head early on with the Tactics Ogre’s plentiful and overarching similarities to another ‘Tactics’ game of the Final Fantasy variety, that I happen to know extremely well. As I played on, I began to get a very sour taste in my mouth: I was playing a crappy clone of Final Fantasy Tactics! How dare the Ogre Battle series rip off one of my favorite games of all time! This would not do!
With my initial impression one of building hatred and anger, I decided it was time to go to the internet and thus I received an education in what I should have already known as someone who considers himself a Gamer with a Masters Degree in Tactical RPGs. First Tactics Ogre was a PS1 port of the original Super Famicon game, so it predated Final Fantasy Tactics by a good number of years. Second, the game was the brainchild of Yasumi Matsuno, who would later go on to direct Final Fantasy Tactics.
In the time it takes to read a Wikipedia entry, my opinion of Tactics Ogre changed 180 degrees. Instead of a poorly done clone, Ogre Tactics (doh!) was revolutionary and implemented (albeit in unpolished forms) mechanics and ideas that would later be perfected in Final Fantasy Tactics.
Given the startling similarities between the two games, it would not be surprising if Yasumi Matsuno didn’t think of Final Fantasy Tactics as a remake of Tactics Ogre and an opportunity to fix any problems from his original masterpiece.
Apparently, 'Poor Translation and Localization" was something Matsuno felt he got right the first time around.
Even with the knowledge of Tactics Ogre being the ‘spiritual predecessor’ to one of my favorite games, I still have a hard time determining how I feel. Every major positive has a rather glaring negative just sitting there staring at you. Similarly, major faults also seem to contain profound positives.
For example, I enjoy the difficulty of Tactics Ogre. When playing at or near the levels of the enemy, the battles are challenging and require more than a bit of tactical thought. Most story battles cannot be won be simply conducting a mass charge with melee weapons.
The flip side is that, since the ability to revive dead characters only becomes available late in the game, when a character is killed, they are more or less gone for good. Thus, when a party member died, I hit the reset button. Given the above mentioned challenge, I ended up hitting the reset button a lot, which began to get increasingly frustrating. This frustration was compounded by the AI ganging up on wounded characters (a positive, as it’s a sound tactic that anyone with half a brain would use) and also seem to possess increased stats compared to my characters of comparable level and equipment (a negative, as well designed games don’t need to rely on cheating AI).
My resulting frustration would either lead to getting fed up and not touching a controller for five days or, ultimately leveling up way beyond the AI level, and consequently removing the afore mentioned challenge.
Another example centers on the job system. The character customization process is very diverse and allows quite a bit of flexibility. Want your Wizard to be equipped with a sword and shield? Go for it. There are no ‘this character can’t equip that’ messages here. Naturally, equipping a sword would reduce the Wizard’s magic power and he would still suck as a melee fighter, but if you wanted to do it, you could.
The down side however, after the first four or five hours of gameplay, I found a team that worked for me, and I never changed it the remainder of the game (with the exception of equipping some new weapons here or there). In fact, in order to prevent my characters from dying, almost all my characters were indirect attackers: i.e. archers. You see, an indirect attack, whether by bow, crossbow, shuriken, etc does not let the enemy counter attack, whereas a direct (melee) attack does. And, remember that I’m trying to prevent characters from dying, so keeping my distance and limiting the amount of damage by not giving the enemy the opportunity to counter attack seemed like a pretty solid plan.
In fact it was such a solid plan, that my party of 2 Archers, 2 Valkyries (with bows), Canopus (with a bow), 2 healers, a Wizard, a Swordsman, and a Bezerker (crossbow), were able to handle anything the game threw at them, with maybe two exceptions. Remember, I hit upon this combination at hour 5 of a 50 hour game. That’s 45 hours of essentially the same battle set up over and over and over…
The above examples are just the tip of the iceberg for the two-sided aspects of the game. Consequently, it has been hard to determine how I exactly feel about the game. On the one hand, I would replay this game in a heartbeat. If it were not for my ever increasing backlog of unplayed games, I would start a new game of Tactics Ogre today. The branching story and bonus dungeon that I only started exploring, plus all the abilities and items that I didn’t get or experiment fully with, all call me back to Tactics Ogre and make it a game I want to play.
But, on the other hand, I’m not sure I recommend it. I suppose if Tactical RPGs are your bread and butter, than yeah, go find a copy. But, even for Tactical RPG buffs, there are plenty of much more refined tactical games out there (to be fair, there are a lot worse too – Eternal Eyes anyone?). Likewise, Tactics Ogre has not aged well when compared to other Tactical RPGs of the past few generations. While Japan has a huge Tactics Ogre fan base, here in the US, the game has (at best) a cult following. Go ahead and count me as one of the members of that fan base, but I think those numbers are quite thin.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Pure Awesome
Late last night, during a marathon session of Tactics Ogre, I encountered something quite unexpected.
While, fighting through the outer fortifications of the enemy's capital city, I chose to attack from the rear, because, er, well... Wait, that's not what I meant. Rather, I came from behind to better sneak up on my target... uh, erm...
Damn, there isn't really any way to make that sound dignified.
Anyway, it's two in the morning, I'm tired, I'm grumpy, I just want to get through this series of battles and save... Then one of the enemy wizards takes his turn and I see:
That's right, the Wizard's name is Boner. That my friends, qualifies as Pure Awesome.
While, fighting through the outer fortifications of the enemy's capital city, I chose to attack from the rear, because, er, well... Wait, that's not what I meant. Rather, I came from behind to better sneak up on my target... uh, erm...
Damn, there isn't really any way to make that sound dignified.
Anyway, it's two in the morning, I'm tired, I'm grumpy, I just want to get through this series of battles and save... Then one of the enemy wizards takes his turn and I see:
That's right, the Wizard's name is Boner. That my friends, qualifies as Pure Awesome.
Catching Up
Holy Nuts have I been super busy with a bunch of nonsense the past few weeks. But, some free time finally opened up this weekend, so I can get a few updates on what I’ve been up to.
Let’s start off with the Halo LAN party I went to. Or as I have come to call it: Halo 3: Noob Nooberson gets Pwned. Unfortunately a bunch of the people who were going to show up were simply too intimidated by my FPS prowess, so they bailed. Ultimately we ended up playing 2 on 2 - first to 50 kills. Below are my stats for each of the 5 rounds that we played. Go ahead and bask in my undeniable dominance.
Round 1
Map: Valhalla
Kills: 11
Deaths: 25
Round 2
Map: Snow Bound
Kills: 7
Deaths: 31
Round 3
Map: High Ground
Kills 10
Deaths: 24
Round 4
Map: Epitaph
Kills: 13
Deaths: 34
Round 5
Map: Pit
Kills: 15
Deaths: 29
Pretty ugly, huh. Seriously, the most kills Noob Nooberson had was 15? That's just sad. The really amazing thing was how incredibly awesome my teammate was. We won two rounds and only lost the other three by one or two kills. Now take a look again at my above stats and imagine how kickass he was to overcome such a horrible partner and accomplish that.
Despite being unable to aim, I was able to help my teammate in other ways. By positioning myself in the open and then spewing a steady stream of smack talk, insults, and questions of manhood at my opponents, I was continually able to lure them in to the open to slaughter me. Meanwhile, my teammate was hiding nearby to then come in for the kill. You’d be surprised how long it took the opposing team to figure out that we were doing the same trick over and over. Sure they would kill me, but my partner would usually get two kills on them.
Next Up, I have a few New Acquisitions.
I fell hard into an advertising trap the other day. I saw that Amazon had Final Fantasy XIII for pretty cheap on a ‘one day only’ deal. Deciding that this was the lowest I would see FF XIII for a quite a while, I decided to go for it. And, 'click' it goes into the cart. Well, while I'm here, I might as well check out some other things as well... So, I also ended up buy the Gradius Collection (PSP), Gradius III/IV (PS2), and Metal Slug Anthology (PSP).
Additionally, I recently picked Castlevania: Dracula X Chronicles and Puzzle Quest for PSP; Suikoden III and Persona 4 for PS2; Castles of Shikigami III for Wii (so cheap it was almost free).
Oh, and I also got a second copy of R-Type Final, so I can just leave it upstairs at the TV and PS2 by my bed. Yeah, I’m a loser, I own multiple copies of my favorite games so I don’t have to walk downstairs to get them if I want to play them on my TV upstairs.
Should have some stuff up on Ogre Tactics soon. I’m pretty sure I’m nearing the end and I think I may have a lot to say about this one.
Let’s start off with the Halo LAN party I went to. Or as I have come to call it: Halo 3: Noob Nooberson gets Pwned. Unfortunately a bunch of the people who were going to show up were simply too intimidated by my FPS prowess, so they bailed. Ultimately we ended up playing 2 on 2 - first to 50 kills. Below are my stats for each of the 5 rounds that we played. Go ahead and bask in my undeniable dominance.
Round 1
Map: Valhalla
Kills: 11
Deaths: 25
Round 2
Map: Snow Bound
Kills: 7
Deaths: 31
Round 3
Map: High Ground
Kills 10
Deaths: 24
Round 4
Map: Epitaph
Kills: 13
Deaths: 34
Round 5
Map: Pit
Kills: 15
Deaths: 29
Pretty ugly, huh. Seriously, the most kills Noob Nooberson had was 15? That's just sad. The really amazing thing was how incredibly awesome my teammate was. We won two rounds and only lost the other three by one or two kills. Now take a look again at my above stats and imagine how kickass he was to overcome such a horrible partner and accomplish that.
Despite being unable to aim, I was able to help my teammate in other ways. By positioning myself in the open and then spewing a steady stream of smack talk, insults, and questions of manhood at my opponents, I was continually able to lure them in to the open to slaughter me. Meanwhile, my teammate was hiding nearby to then come in for the kill. You’d be surprised how long it took the opposing team to figure out that we were doing the same trick over and over. Sure they would kill me, but my partner would usually get two kills on them.
Next Up, I have a few New Acquisitions.
I fell hard into an advertising trap the other day. I saw that Amazon had Final Fantasy XIII for pretty cheap on a ‘one day only’ deal. Deciding that this was the lowest I would see FF XIII for a quite a while, I decided to go for it. And, 'click' it goes into the cart. Well, while I'm here, I might as well check out some other things as well... So, I also ended up buy the Gradius Collection (PSP), Gradius III/IV (PS2), and Metal Slug Anthology (PSP).
Additionally, I recently picked Castlevania: Dracula X Chronicles and Puzzle Quest for PSP; Suikoden III and Persona 4 for PS2; Castles of Shikigami III for Wii (so cheap it was almost free).
Oh, and I also got a second copy of R-Type Final, so I can just leave it upstairs at the TV and PS2 by my bed. Yeah, I’m a loser, I own multiple copies of my favorite games so I don’t have to walk downstairs to get them if I want to play them on my TV upstairs.
Should have some stuff up on Ogre Tactics soon. I’m pretty sure I’m nearing the end and I think I may have a lot to say about this one.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Let's Pwn Some Noobs
So, I'm off to a good old fashion Halo Lan party right now. And, let me tell you, I'm ready to wreck shop.
I can't even begin to count to how many times I've played Halo. No, seriously I can't begin to count. Theoretically, counting to the number Zero is impossible, so I truthfully can't tally up all the zero times I've played Halo.
Given my stunning success at the few FPSs I have played, I am afraid that this might be one of the most embarrassing gaming experiences of my life. So much so, that I'm taking along my copy of Killer Instinct on the offhand chance that everyone gets bored with slaughtering my pathetic ass.
I do believe that there is only one option available to me. First, make my Master Chief pink. And second, talk so much shit it doesn't even matter how many times I die.
Oh, and three, tally the number of times I die compared to the number of kills I get. I bet my kill score will be so small that most respected scientists would consider it 'negligible.'
I can't even begin to count to how many times I've played Halo. No, seriously I can't begin to count. Theoretically, counting to the number Zero is impossible, so I truthfully can't tally up all the zero times I've played Halo.
Given my stunning success at the few FPSs I have played, I am afraid that this might be one of the most embarrassing gaming experiences of my life. So much so, that I'm taking along my copy of Killer Instinct on the offhand chance that everyone gets bored with slaughtering my pathetic ass.
I do believe that there is only one option available to me. First, make my Master Chief pink. And second, talk so much shit it doesn't even matter how many times I die.
Oh, and three, tally the number of times I die compared to the number of kills I get. I bet my kill score will be so small that most respected scientists would consider it 'negligible.'
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Pure Awesome
While stalking, er, 'checking status updates' on Facebook the other day, I ran across the best thing ever conceived of by man.
That's right: MEN IN BELTED SWEATERS. What else could you possibly need. I totally want one. Especially if the sweater comes with those rockin' hats.
On the gaming front, I've been playing a lot of Tactics Ogre lately, in whatever spare time I have. And while I don't have time to go into it now, I will say that, in general, it's been pissing me off.
I'll get something up on the games I've been playing soon, but until then, bask in the glory that is belted sweaters.
That's right: MEN IN BELTED SWEATERS. What else could you possibly need. I totally want one. Especially if the sweater comes with those rockin' hats.
On the gaming front, I've been playing a lot of Tactics Ogre lately, in whatever spare time I have. And while I don't have time to go into it now, I will say that, in general, it's been pissing me off.
I'll get something up on the games I've been playing soon, but until then, bask in the glory that is belted sweaters.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
E3 Wrap-Up: Part 3
Sony
While I don’t really consider myself a fanboy, per se, I do have a vested interest in Sony’s success. I own pretty much all of Sony’s consoles (well, except for the Go), and the PS3 was my choice as my first next-gen console. So, naturally, I was really hoping for a slew of new games announced at E3 that would really get me excited. Did Sony produce? Honestly, I’m not sure.
Killzone 3
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Generally Positive
- I have never really been interested in Killzone, but the trailer looked fantastic. It’s still not quite my thing, being an FPS and all, but it still looked great.
Sorcery
Pre-E3 – Never heard of it
Post-E3 – Generally Positive
- Upon seeing the first screens of Sorcery during the show, I was a bit put off. I’m generally opposed to motion control, as I don’t think it really brings anything new to the table (Metroid Prime 3 being the lone exception), but Sorcery appeared to have actually tapped into some innovative use of a motion control. I was really impressed with how the magic spell changes based on exactly how the player casts it with the controller. I can almost definitely say I won’t buy it, but it did get a slight approving head nod from me.
Tiger Woods PGA Tour
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Still Ambivalent
- I hate playing golf in real life. I hate playing golf on my TV. I do not want this game. The Move control seemed to work a bit better than the Wii golf that I’ve played in the past, but that’s about the only props I can give this game. Steke is definitely not the target audience for these types of games.
Heroes on the Move
Pre-E3 – Didn’t know about it
Post-E3 – Confused mostly
- I guess I just got lost somewhere and failed to grasp the concept behind Heroes on the Move. I know that it is kind of a Playstation-All-Stars-Mashup, but I just didn’t get a good feel for it. Plus, I’ve never really followed Sony’s flagship exclusives, so this isn't tugging at my nostalgia.
Kevin Butler
- Is the Man. Seriously. This guy is the best marketing strategy I’ve ever seen. Just watch this.No really, stop reading and go watch it now.
Chains of Olympus
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Confused again
- They kind of threw Chains of Olympus and Ghosts of Sparta into a massive and convoluted PSP ad. I had difficulty getting a solid feel for any of the games shown, as they was kind of thrown together. I love the PSP, I think it is a fantastic system. The downside, however, is that there are something like five games on it that I really want (which is why I bought them). Apart from that tiny slice of games, nothing really interests me on the console. It always feels as if Sony is on the verge of dropping the PSP entirely. I wish they would; either that, or, I don’t know, maybe consider supporting it? Seriously Sony, either back your console or drop it and give us something new that you will support.
Home Plus
- Online play really isn’t my thing, so this is transparent to me. As long as I can still do the bare minimum of online stuff for free, I really could care less what Sony chooses to do with PSN
Little Big Planet 2
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Still Ambivalent
- Little Big Planet is somewhat beyond me. I just don’t get it. Plus, it relies on online and multiplayer support to maximize its potential, which is why I stay away from it.
Medal of Honor
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Slightly Negative
- The EA press event had a much more impressive display, when 12 v 12 was demo-ed right there on stage. Still, like almost every other announced PS3 game, it does look really good. However, I am unsure of how I feel about games that are based on current, actual wars with locations and circumstances that match real-life situations from that war. It just doesn’t sit right with me. I won’t argue against the game being made or sold, I simply won’t play it, nor get very excited about it.
Dead Space 2
Pre-E3 – Anticipatory
Post-E3 – Positive, but a bit less excited
- I haven’t had much of a chance to play through the first Dead Space, but from what I’ve played, combined with what I have read, heard, and seen on the interwebs, makes me very interested in the original and the sequel. Unfortunately, the demo was a bit hectic and I had trouble grasping what was going on, especially during the boss fight. I know that I will buy it; and I know I will die several (hundred) times.
Portal 2
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Still Ambivalent
- Yeah I haven’t played Portal. I suppose I should be happy the sequel is coming to consoles. Maybe I’ll just have to pick it up and see what the fuss is about.
Final Fantasy XIV
- What the hell was this? The Final Fantasy series contains some of my favorite games of all time. I always give the franchise the benefit of the doubt, regardless of negative reviews (although I should have passed on X, ugh). But, this? This looked awful. It didn’t show me anything, unless you count bad character design and sub-par graphics. Definitely a pass. (To be honest, it was a pass well before the trailer, mainly due to it being an MMO. Look, I know that WOW is a great game, I simply know I be one of those guys who gets totally sucked in and loses his entire like to it. So I pass when it comes to MMOs.)
Assassins Creed Brotherhood Multiplayer
- The trailer really didn’t show much of anything, besides a dude in a ridiculous costume who kills a guy, who in turn is killed by another guy in a ridiculous costume, who is then hunted down and killed by a third, and so on. Very underwhelming.
Gran Turismo 5
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Ambivalent
- I will not deny that graphically, GT 5 looks amazing. There were points during the trailer when I was unsure if it was game footage or video of the actual cars. Other than being a graphical masterpiece, I didn’t see anything to really interest me. I’m happy all the GT fans out there finally get their long awaited fifth installment, it just doesn’t do anything for me.
Infamous 2
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Ambivalent
- Just like nearly every other game announced by Sony, I feel that Infamous should get me excited, but instead falls flat.
Twisted Metal
Pre-E3 – Had heard the rumors
Post-E3 – Ambivalent
- Yet another sequel to a franchise that I’ve never really bought in to. I thought the new Sniper mechanic was an interesting addition, but otherwise seemed kind of par for the Twisted Metal course.
Overall, I felt let down by Sony’s press conference. With all the games announced, there was nothing that really excited me. All the games looked beautiful and there are folks out there who are, no doubt, thrilled by most of the announcements; but for me, it was all lackluster. Kevin Butler really was all kinds of awesome though.
While I don’t really consider myself a fanboy, per se, I do have a vested interest in Sony’s success. I own pretty much all of Sony’s consoles (well, except for the Go), and the PS3 was my choice as my first next-gen console. So, naturally, I was really hoping for a slew of new games announced at E3 that would really get me excited. Did Sony produce? Honestly, I’m not sure.
Killzone 3
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Generally Positive
- I have never really been interested in Killzone, but the trailer looked fantastic. It’s still not quite my thing, being an FPS and all, but it still looked great.
Sorcery
Pre-E3 – Never heard of it
Post-E3 – Generally Positive
- Upon seeing the first screens of Sorcery during the show, I was a bit put off. I’m generally opposed to motion control, as I don’t think it really brings anything new to the table (Metroid Prime 3 being the lone exception), but Sorcery appeared to have actually tapped into some innovative use of a motion control. I was really impressed with how the magic spell changes based on exactly how the player casts it with the controller. I can almost definitely say I won’t buy it, but it did get a slight approving head nod from me.
Tiger Woods PGA Tour
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Still Ambivalent
- I hate playing golf in real life. I hate playing golf on my TV. I do not want this game. The Move control seemed to work a bit better than the Wii golf that I’ve played in the past, but that’s about the only props I can give this game. Steke is definitely not the target audience for these types of games.
Heroes on the Move
Pre-E3 – Didn’t know about it
Post-E3 – Confused mostly
- I guess I just got lost somewhere and failed to grasp the concept behind Heroes on the Move. I know that it is kind of a Playstation-All-Stars-Mashup, but I just didn’t get a good feel for it. Plus, I’ve never really followed Sony’s flagship exclusives, so this isn't tugging at my nostalgia.
Kevin Butler
- Is the Man. Seriously. This guy is the best marketing strategy I’ve ever seen. Just watch this.No really, stop reading and go watch it now.
Chains of Olympus
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Confused again
- They kind of threw Chains of Olympus and Ghosts of Sparta into a massive and convoluted PSP ad. I had difficulty getting a solid feel for any of the games shown, as they was kind of thrown together. I love the PSP, I think it is a fantastic system. The downside, however, is that there are something like five games on it that I really want (which is why I bought them). Apart from that tiny slice of games, nothing really interests me on the console. It always feels as if Sony is on the verge of dropping the PSP entirely. I wish they would; either that, or, I don’t know, maybe consider supporting it? Seriously Sony, either back your console or drop it and give us something new that you will support.
Home Plus
- Online play really isn’t my thing, so this is transparent to me. As long as I can still do the bare minimum of online stuff for free, I really could care less what Sony chooses to do with PSN
Little Big Planet 2
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Still Ambivalent
- Little Big Planet is somewhat beyond me. I just don’t get it. Plus, it relies on online and multiplayer support to maximize its potential, which is why I stay away from it.
Medal of Honor
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Slightly Negative
- The EA press event had a much more impressive display, when 12 v 12 was demo-ed right there on stage. Still, like almost every other announced PS3 game, it does look really good. However, I am unsure of how I feel about games that are based on current, actual wars with locations and circumstances that match real-life situations from that war. It just doesn’t sit right with me. I won’t argue against the game being made or sold, I simply won’t play it, nor get very excited about it.
Dead Space 2
Pre-E3 – Anticipatory
Post-E3 – Positive, but a bit less excited
- I haven’t had much of a chance to play through the first Dead Space, but from what I’ve played, combined with what I have read, heard, and seen on the interwebs, makes me very interested in the original and the sequel. Unfortunately, the demo was a bit hectic and I had trouble grasping what was going on, especially during the boss fight. I know that I will buy it; and I know I will die several (hundred) times.
Portal 2
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Still Ambivalent
- Yeah I haven’t played Portal. I suppose I should be happy the sequel is coming to consoles. Maybe I’ll just have to pick it up and see what the fuss is about.
Final Fantasy XIV
- What the hell was this? The Final Fantasy series contains some of my favorite games of all time. I always give the franchise the benefit of the doubt, regardless of negative reviews (although I should have passed on X, ugh). But, this? This looked awful. It didn’t show me anything, unless you count bad character design and sub-par graphics. Definitely a pass. (To be honest, it was a pass well before the trailer, mainly due to it being an MMO. Look, I know that WOW is a great game, I simply know I be one of those guys who gets totally sucked in and loses his entire like to it. So I pass when it comes to MMOs.)
Assassins Creed Brotherhood Multiplayer
- The trailer really didn’t show much of anything, besides a dude in a ridiculous costume who kills a guy, who in turn is killed by another guy in a ridiculous costume, who is then hunted down and killed by a third, and so on. Very underwhelming.
Gran Turismo 5
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Ambivalent
- I will not deny that graphically, GT 5 looks amazing. There were points during the trailer when I was unsure if it was game footage or video of the actual cars. Other than being a graphical masterpiece, I didn’t see anything to really interest me. I’m happy all the GT fans out there finally get their long awaited fifth installment, it just doesn’t do anything for me.
Infamous 2
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Ambivalent
- Just like nearly every other game announced by Sony, I feel that Infamous should get me excited, but instead falls flat.
Twisted Metal
Pre-E3 – Had heard the rumors
Post-E3 – Ambivalent
- Yet another sequel to a franchise that I’ve never really bought in to. I thought the new Sniper mechanic was an interesting addition, but otherwise seemed kind of par for the Twisted Metal course.
Overall, I felt let down by Sony’s press conference. With all the games announced, there was nothing that really excited me. All the games looked beautiful and there are folks out there who are, no doubt, thrilled by most of the announcements; but for me, it was all lackluster. Kevin Butler really was all kinds of awesome though.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
E3 Wrap-Up: Part 2
Nintendo
I really wanted to see Nintendo turn around from their miserable performances the past few years. Talk about Vitality Sensors, worthless peripherals, and casual games leading up to E3 had me worried that was what Nintendo and Front-Man-Reggie had in store for us. Instead, they chose to pull out the stops and blow me away.
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Skeptical
- While the unveiling of a new Zelda is promising in its own right, the technical difficulties with the motion controller really worry me. However, after playing quality first party games from Nintendo for nearly a quarter of a century, I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that it will work beautifully once released. Not owning a Wii, I can’t say for certain that I’ll play it, but it does increase my chance of adding the console to my collection.
Mario Sports Mix
Pre-E3 – Hadn’t heard of it
Post-E3 – My non-gamer friends would probably have a blast with this (and so would I, but I’d pretend to not like it)
- Part of me wanted to completely reject this as another crappy Mario/Party Sports Game, but then I saw it included dodge ball. Additionally, it looked like there was a bit of grabbing power-ups, ala Mario Kart. Oh, and if I didn’t see that right and there really weren’t power-ups, you can go ahead and take that idea for free, Nintendo. I’d love to play a Sports Party Game where I can use a turtle shell to attack the catcher while trying to steal home or get a mushroom that makes me huge and untouchable while running the ball in for a touchdown.
Wii Party
Pre-E3 – Hadn’t heard of it
Post-E3 – Don’t really care
- I almost feel that Reggie was kind of apologizing for Wii Party, calling it a ‘Bridge Game.’ As long as a company isn’t entirely focused on casual gaming, I’m okay that games like Wii Party exist. So, please Nintendo, give me something to offset this announcement. Something cool, like a new Metroid Trailer, or…
Just Dance 2
Pre-E3 – Hadn’t heard of it
Post-E3 – Don’t really care
- Ugh, not exactly what I had in mind, but I concede that this is likely a solid marketing decision. The first Just Dance sort of exploded without anyone really thinking it would be successful. I suppose it will sell bucket loads.
Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
Pre-E3 – I thought this franchise was dead
Post-E3 – Mildly interested
- Eh, I own the first two games, but have only really played through one of them. It was mildly fun, but didn’t really make a lasting impression on me. It’s unlikely that I will pick this one up, unless it gets stellar reviews.
Golden Eye
Pre-E3 – Believed this to be a rumor
Post-E3 – Hail to the king, baby
- I’m glad Nintendo did this, provided they don’t screw it all up. Golden Eye was where I learned that I sucked at FPSs. It is also where I learned what jackasses people can be when they get really good and have the maps memorized. This doesn't mean I don't want it though. Heck, add another point to the ‘Buy a Wii’ argument.
Epic Mickey
Pre-E3 – Excited
Post-E3 – Skeptical, but still positive
- The initial release images of Epic Mickey really excited me. At the time there were a bunch of steam-punkish designs of Goofy and other characters. Then there was a long silence with nothing, plus rumors of a needed graphical redesign. I almost thought Epic Mickey was destined to join the ranks of Duke Nukem Forever. The announcement at E3 showed the core game mechanic and a side scrolling level, but I’m somewhat skeptical. There really wasn’t anything on the story or any compelling gameplay shown to get me really excited. I need to see more.
Kirby’s Epic Yarn
Pre-E3 – No idea it existed
Post-E3 – Oddly positive
- Initially put off by the fact that Kirby isn’t eating anything, I find myself strangely drawn to the unusual style and creativity of Kirby’s Epic Yarn. I find it refreshing that they did go a whole new route with Kirby instead of sticking to the same formula. And, since it's a Wii title, add it to the growing and increasingly persuasive 'Need to buy a Wii' pile.
Dragon Quest
Pre-E3 – Not really interested
Post-E3 – Still not that interested, but may give it a try
- I have never really gotten into the Dragon Quest and don’t see a change in the future. I was impressed by the online support Nintendo has developed for the game, however.
Metroid Other M
Pre-E3 – I think I need to change my shorts
Post-E3 – Still need to change my shorts
- My favorite franchise of all time is Metroid. While this trailer left me disappointed that it didn’t show more, I’m no less excited than I was before. This is the first game I have pre-ordered since Final Fantasy IX, and I don’t even own a Wii. That’s how excited I am for this game.
Donkey Kong Returns
Pre-E3 – Thought the franchise was long gone
Post-E3 – Freaking awesome
- Greatest lead-in ever for this game; starting with the music while Reggie was still talking, then saying, ‘I think you hear it coming.’ Pure. Awesome. It looks beautiful, doesn’t try any new fangled control scheme or style. I got goose-bumps seeing it. I want it. Add this it to the ‘Go Get a Wii Now’ pile.
3DS
Pre-E3 – I knew it was something, but was skeptical
Post-E3 – Jaw-dropping
- I was convinced that the 3DS would either utterly bomb or be outrageously successful. After seeing the several-hour-long line to play the demo at the Nintendo booth, I am convinced it will ultimately beat out the DS as the most successful gaming system ever released. Skipping ahead a bit to the DS commercial, Nintendo implied that an absolute boatload of games were in development for the 3DS release, to include: Star Fox (sweet!), Mario Kart, another Mario title or two, Zelda (Ocarina of Time confirmed), games by Atlus, Konami, THQ, and whole bunch of others. Add to this the ability to watch 3D movies and take 3D pictures, and I'm convinced that Nintendo has hit this one out of the park. I’m glad I held off getting one of the newer DS systems, because I will definitely be buying one of these.
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Pre-E3 – Had long since lost hope of a new Icarus game
Post-E3 – I got choked up seeing the trailer
- Seriously, this was a brilliant move by Nintendo. Bringing Kid Icarus back, the first title of the franchise in nearly 20 years, as the launch title for their new 3D system is absolutely genius. Plus it looks amazing. Graphically, it compares to a decent Wii game. Naturally, my cynical nature takes me back to Metroid Prime Hunters, as that was a launch title for the DS and could be considered inherently flawed. However, the one-two punch of the 3DS announcement and then Kid Icarus has totally destroyed all doubt and I find myself completely optimistic and excited and enthusiastic and giddy and a bunch of other cool adjectives.
Overall Nintendo totally obliterated my expectations. There was a bit of down time during the conference to discuss Mario Sports Mix, Wii Party, and Just Dance 2. But, then it was one title after another of games that I genuinely want to play and buy. This press conference made me want to buy a bunch of Nintendo products; consoles, games, you name it.
I find it interesting that this is the year Microsoft and Sony are releasing their motion control systems. At the same time, Nintendo is almost downplaying their motion control and announcing the first true 3D system. Say what you want about Nintendo, but it definitely looks like they know what they are doing.
I really wanted to see Nintendo turn around from their miserable performances the past few years. Talk about Vitality Sensors, worthless peripherals, and casual games leading up to E3 had me worried that was what Nintendo and Front-Man-Reggie had in store for us. Instead, they chose to pull out the stops and blow me away.
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Skeptical
- While the unveiling of a new Zelda is promising in its own right, the technical difficulties with the motion controller really worry me. However, after playing quality first party games from Nintendo for nearly a quarter of a century, I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that it will work beautifully once released. Not owning a Wii, I can’t say for certain that I’ll play it, but it does increase my chance of adding the console to my collection.
Mario Sports Mix
Pre-E3 – Hadn’t heard of it
Post-E3 – My non-gamer friends would probably have a blast with this (and so would I, but I’d pretend to not like it)
- Part of me wanted to completely reject this as another crappy Mario/Party Sports Game, but then I saw it included dodge ball. Additionally, it looked like there was a bit of grabbing power-ups, ala Mario Kart. Oh, and if I didn’t see that right and there really weren’t power-ups, you can go ahead and take that idea for free, Nintendo. I’d love to play a Sports Party Game where I can use a turtle shell to attack the catcher while trying to steal home or get a mushroom that makes me huge and untouchable while running the ball in for a touchdown.
Wii Party
Pre-E3 – Hadn’t heard of it
Post-E3 – Don’t really care
- I almost feel that Reggie was kind of apologizing for Wii Party, calling it a ‘Bridge Game.’ As long as a company isn’t entirely focused on casual gaming, I’m okay that games like Wii Party exist. So, please Nintendo, give me something to offset this announcement. Something cool, like a new Metroid Trailer, or…
Just Dance 2
Pre-E3 – Hadn’t heard of it
Post-E3 – Don’t really care
- Ugh, not exactly what I had in mind, but I concede that this is likely a solid marketing decision. The first Just Dance sort of exploded without anyone really thinking it would be successful. I suppose it will sell bucket loads.
Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
Pre-E3 – I thought this franchise was dead
Post-E3 – Mildly interested
- Eh, I own the first two games, but have only really played through one of them. It was mildly fun, but didn’t really make a lasting impression on me. It’s unlikely that I will pick this one up, unless it gets stellar reviews.
Golden Eye
Pre-E3 – Believed this to be a rumor
Post-E3 – Hail to the king, baby
- I’m glad Nintendo did this, provided they don’t screw it all up. Golden Eye was where I learned that I sucked at FPSs. It is also where I learned what jackasses people can be when they get really good and have the maps memorized. This doesn't mean I don't want it though. Heck, add another point to the ‘Buy a Wii’ argument.
Epic Mickey
Pre-E3 – Excited
Post-E3 – Skeptical, but still positive
- The initial release images of Epic Mickey really excited me. At the time there were a bunch of steam-punkish designs of Goofy and other characters. Then there was a long silence with nothing, plus rumors of a needed graphical redesign. I almost thought Epic Mickey was destined to join the ranks of Duke Nukem Forever. The announcement at E3 showed the core game mechanic and a side scrolling level, but I’m somewhat skeptical. There really wasn’t anything on the story or any compelling gameplay shown to get me really excited. I need to see more.
Kirby’s Epic Yarn
Pre-E3 – No idea it existed
Post-E3 – Oddly positive
- Initially put off by the fact that Kirby isn’t eating anything, I find myself strangely drawn to the unusual style and creativity of Kirby’s Epic Yarn. I find it refreshing that they did go a whole new route with Kirby instead of sticking to the same formula. And, since it's a Wii title, add it to the growing and increasingly persuasive 'Need to buy a Wii' pile.
Dragon Quest
Pre-E3 – Not really interested
Post-E3 – Still not that interested, but may give it a try
- I have never really gotten into the Dragon Quest and don’t see a change in the future. I was impressed by the online support Nintendo has developed for the game, however.
Metroid Other M
Pre-E3 – I think I need to change my shorts
Post-E3 – Still need to change my shorts
- My favorite franchise of all time is Metroid. While this trailer left me disappointed that it didn’t show more, I’m no less excited than I was before. This is the first game I have pre-ordered since Final Fantasy IX, and I don’t even own a Wii. That’s how excited I am for this game.
Donkey Kong Returns
Pre-E3 – Thought the franchise was long gone
Post-E3 – Freaking awesome
- Greatest lead-in ever for this game; starting with the music while Reggie was still talking, then saying, ‘I think you hear it coming.’ Pure. Awesome. It looks beautiful, doesn’t try any new fangled control scheme or style. I got goose-bumps seeing it. I want it. Add this it to the ‘Go Get a Wii Now’ pile.
3DS
Pre-E3 – I knew it was something, but was skeptical
Post-E3 – Jaw-dropping
- I was convinced that the 3DS would either utterly bomb or be outrageously successful. After seeing the several-hour-long line to play the demo at the Nintendo booth, I am convinced it will ultimately beat out the DS as the most successful gaming system ever released. Skipping ahead a bit to the DS commercial, Nintendo implied that an absolute boatload of games were in development for the 3DS release, to include: Star Fox (sweet!), Mario Kart, another Mario title or two, Zelda (Ocarina of Time confirmed), games by Atlus, Konami, THQ, and whole bunch of others. Add to this the ability to watch 3D movies and take 3D pictures, and I'm convinced that Nintendo has hit this one out of the park. I’m glad I held off getting one of the newer DS systems, because I will definitely be buying one of these.
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Pre-E3 – Had long since lost hope of a new Icarus game
Post-E3 – I got choked up seeing the trailer
- Seriously, this was a brilliant move by Nintendo. Bringing Kid Icarus back, the first title of the franchise in nearly 20 years, as the launch title for their new 3D system is absolutely genius. Plus it looks amazing. Graphically, it compares to a decent Wii game. Naturally, my cynical nature takes me back to Metroid Prime Hunters, as that was a launch title for the DS and could be considered inherently flawed. However, the one-two punch of the 3DS announcement and then Kid Icarus has totally destroyed all doubt and I find myself completely optimistic and excited and enthusiastic and giddy and a bunch of other cool adjectives.
Overall Nintendo totally obliterated my expectations. There was a bit of down time during the conference to discuss Mario Sports Mix, Wii Party, and Just Dance 2. But, then it was one title after another of games that I genuinely want to play and buy. This press conference made me want to buy a bunch of Nintendo products; consoles, games, you name it.
I find it interesting that this is the year Microsoft and Sony are releasing their motion control systems. At the same time, Nintendo is almost downplaying their motion control and announcing the first true 3D system. Say what you want about Nintendo, but it definitely looks like they know what they are doing.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
E3 Wrap-Up: Part 1
Well E3 is wrapping up its third day and after spending way too much time watching a bunch of live videos streamed in dubious quality, I thought I’d give my view of the different press conferences, announcements, news, and the like.
Before I start, I do want to say that this is the most invested I’ve ever been for E3. In the past, I was content to watch the videos at my leisure in the weeks after the event. I was fine with the various internet gaming personalities I follow let me know what was good, bad, and ugly. But, for some reason, that was not the case this year.
Let’s get to it.
Microsoft
I try my hardest to not be a console fanboy. I recognize there are very good games on all systems and that capability-wise each system has strengths and weaknesses. Having said that, Microsoft has absolutely zero nostalgic value for me. I grew up on Nintendo consoles and was a rabid PS1 fan, so those companies already have a strong standing with me. Xbox however, never really clicked with me, so Microsoft needed to work pretty hard to impress me.
They didn’t.
Some of the games they showed really did excite me, but not enough to convince me to buy a 360. Plus all the crap with Kinect really just baffles me. I understand the whole ‘casual’ market approach and some of the Kinetic capabilities are impressive, but I don’t understand how controller-less game play is going to work for a majority of games.
Let’s get to the games. For each announcement, I’ll give the Pre-E3 Stake Hype Level, then my Post-E3 Level, as well as a few notes on what I thought.
Call of Duty Black Ops
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Positive
- The trailer looked great and gave me a favorable view of the game. However, not being an FPS fan means I won’t be buying this.
Metal Gear Solid Rising
Pre-E3 – Only vaguely aware of it being a thing
Post-E3 – Very Impressed
- At the start of the announcement, I think my impression of MGS Rising was verging on negative. Even through the start of the trailer, I was skeptical. Then, they started to show how the player can control the angle to swing the sword and cut up the enemies in all sorts of different ways. That was incredible and really made me want to play it.
Gears of War 3
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Mildly Positive
- I played through a majority of the first Gears while hanging out with a bunch of friends one weekend. It was a very enjoyable, good looking game. Not really memorable, but good destruction and mayhem fun. This looks more of that.
Fable 3
Pre-E3 – Negative
Post-E3 – More Negative
- This looks like crap. Did anyone really play the first two? Maybe I’m missing out on the gaming experience of a lifetime, or maybe this is just a mediocre franchise. This announcement really needed to wow me, but instead failed miserably.
Codename Kingdoms
- Uh, What? Am I missing something here? What the hell is this?
Halo Reach
Pre-E3 – Negative
Post-E3 – Excited, then sort of let down
- I was firmly in the ‘Need to let Halo Die’ camp prior to E3. I believed that ODST and Wars were the death knells of the once great franchise. Then I watched the gameplay footage of the beach combat and got all sorts of hyped. This is a game I would love to watch someone with mad shooter skills play (instead of play myself, which would just result in giving me a headache). But, then it went into some sort of space combat sequence. Wait. Space combat? I know I should be all excited that they are trying something new, but it just didn’t sit right with me. Doesn’t the Halo universe have, I don’t know, pilots for that sort of thing? Apparently human military operations in the future fail unless a Spartan is involved with every single aspect. Everyone else in the military is simply cannon fodder to keep the enemy busy until a Spartan rolls in.
Kinect Homepage
Pre-E3 – Negative
Post-E3 – Very mildly positive
- This is about the only thing from Kinect that I like. The ability to tell the Xbox what to do is pretty darn nifty. I did think it was odd that in order to select a menu item with your hand you have to hold it over the onscreen button for what seemed a fraction of a second long to be intuitive.
ESPN exclusively on Xbox 360
Pre-E3 – No clue this was going to happen
Post-E3 – Extremely positive
- This was a dang good idea, brilliant marketing. I can see this really taking off.
Kinectimals
Pre-E3 – No idea this exists
Post-E3 – Trying to forget that it exists
- Skittles needs to be shot by a group of poachers.
Some Kinect Sports Pack that I’m too Lazy to Find the Name of
Pre-E3 – Had a feeling that they would do something to copy Wii Sports
Post-E3 – Ugh
- Do you remember the Nintendo Power Pad? Remember running in place on that crappy plastic tarp? Yeah, nearly two decades of technological advancement and millions of dollars in investment later and you get the same thing. This time you just don’t have to use a tarp, but you still look like an idiot.
Every other Title with Kinect in the Name
Pre-E3 – Didn’t care
Post-E3 – Still don’t care
- I guess there is a market for this crap. Obviously, the Wii has sold a metric buttload of consoles based on a similar assortment of plastic junk. I just don’t get it I guess. Plus why do all motion control games look like shit? I guess, the big bosses think that the game is for a casual audience, so why put the effort in to give it great graphics. Whatever the reason, its bullshit.
Dance Central (see above)
Star Wars
Pre-E3 – Surprise announcement
Post-E3 – Very skeptical
- See, this is one of those games that I want something in my hand. I want to hold something the general shape of a lightsaber, not just swing around clenched fists. I have a strong feeling this is going to suck balls. Plus, graphically it looks like a Wii game (which I don’t have a problem with . . . on the Wii, but if it is going to be on an HD system, it better at least look good, even if it plays like shit).
Forza
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Negative
- I guess my big issue is that if I’m using my hands to control the steering wheel with Kinect, how do I brake or accelerate? I NEED ME SOME BUTTONS.
Xbox 360 Slim
Pre-E3 – Suspected it was coming
Post-E3 – Ambivalent, I guess
- This is a fantastic marketing ploy, it will increase 360 sales, but it isn’t convincing me to become a 360 owner. I think my viewpoint would be a bit different if I had just been given a free one, just like each member of the audience. That just served to piss me off. People whose job it is to play videogames and many of whom have access to nearly every console they desire at their place of work shouldn’t get the damn thing for free. Microsoft was catering to the wrong audience, had they devised a way to give a bunch away for free to the general public, now that would have built a bunch of support.
All in all, the Microsoft Media Event was kind of underwhelming. It’s sad that the most exciting thing about a gaming expo is the unveiling of a partnership with ESPN and that a bunch of dudes who already have Xbox 360s just got free new ones.
Lame.
Before I start, I do want to say that this is the most invested I’ve ever been for E3. In the past, I was content to watch the videos at my leisure in the weeks after the event. I was fine with the various internet gaming personalities I follow let me know what was good, bad, and ugly. But, for some reason, that was not the case this year.
Let’s get to it.
Microsoft
I try my hardest to not be a console fanboy. I recognize there are very good games on all systems and that capability-wise each system has strengths and weaknesses. Having said that, Microsoft has absolutely zero nostalgic value for me. I grew up on Nintendo consoles and was a rabid PS1 fan, so those companies already have a strong standing with me. Xbox however, never really clicked with me, so Microsoft needed to work pretty hard to impress me.
They didn’t.
Some of the games they showed really did excite me, but not enough to convince me to buy a 360. Plus all the crap with Kinect really just baffles me. I understand the whole ‘casual’ market approach and some of the Kinetic capabilities are impressive, but I don’t understand how controller-less game play is going to work for a majority of games.
Let’s get to the games. For each announcement, I’ll give the Pre-E3 Stake Hype Level, then my Post-E3 Level, as well as a few notes on what I thought.
Call of Duty Black Ops
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Positive
- The trailer looked great and gave me a favorable view of the game. However, not being an FPS fan means I won’t be buying this.
Metal Gear Solid Rising
Pre-E3 – Only vaguely aware of it being a thing
Post-E3 – Very Impressed
- At the start of the announcement, I think my impression of MGS Rising was verging on negative. Even through the start of the trailer, I was skeptical. Then, they started to show how the player can control the angle to swing the sword and cut up the enemies in all sorts of different ways. That was incredible and really made me want to play it.
Gears of War 3
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Mildly Positive
- I played through a majority of the first Gears while hanging out with a bunch of friends one weekend. It was a very enjoyable, good looking game. Not really memorable, but good destruction and mayhem fun. This looks more of that.
Fable 3
Pre-E3 – Negative
Post-E3 – More Negative
- This looks like crap. Did anyone really play the first two? Maybe I’m missing out on the gaming experience of a lifetime, or maybe this is just a mediocre franchise. This announcement really needed to wow me, but instead failed miserably.
Codename Kingdoms
- Uh, What? Am I missing something here? What the hell is this?
Halo Reach
Pre-E3 – Negative
Post-E3 – Excited, then sort of let down
- I was firmly in the ‘Need to let Halo Die’ camp prior to E3. I believed that ODST and Wars were the death knells of the once great franchise. Then I watched the gameplay footage of the beach combat and got all sorts of hyped. This is a game I would love to watch someone with mad shooter skills play (instead of play myself, which would just result in giving me a headache). But, then it went into some sort of space combat sequence. Wait. Space combat? I know I should be all excited that they are trying something new, but it just didn’t sit right with me. Doesn’t the Halo universe have, I don’t know, pilots for that sort of thing? Apparently human military operations in the future fail unless a Spartan is involved with every single aspect. Everyone else in the military is simply cannon fodder to keep the enemy busy until a Spartan rolls in.
Kinect Homepage
Pre-E3 – Negative
Post-E3 – Very mildly positive
- This is about the only thing from Kinect that I like. The ability to tell the Xbox what to do is pretty darn nifty. I did think it was odd that in order to select a menu item with your hand you have to hold it over the onscreen button for what seemed a fraction of a second long to be intuitive.
ESPN exclusively on Xbox 360
Pre-E3 – No clue this was going to happen
Post-E3 – Extremely positive
- This was a dang good idea, brilliant marketing. I can see this really taking off.
Kinectimals
Pre-E3 – No idea this exists
Post-E3 – Trying to forget that it exists
- Skittles needs to be shot by a group of poachers.
Some Kinect Sports Pack that I’m too Lazy to Find the Name of
Pre-E3 – Had a feeling that they would do something to copy Wii Sports
Post-E3 – Ugh
- Do you remember the Nintendo Power Pad? Remember running in place on that crappy plastic tarp? Yeah, nearly two decades of technological advancement and millions of dollars in investment later and you get the same thing. This time you just don’t have to use a tarp, but you still look like an idiot.
Every other Title with Kinect in the Name
Pre-E3 – Didn’t care
Post-E3 – Still don’t care
- I guess there is a market for this crap. Obviously, the Wii has sold a metric buttload of consoles based on a similar assortment of plastic junk. I just don’t get it I guess. Plus why do all motion control games look like shit? I guess, the big bosses think that the game is for a casual audience, so why put the effort in to give it great graphics. Whatever the reason, its bullshit.
Dance Central (see above)
Star Wars
Pre-E3 – Surprise announcement
Post-E3 – Very skeptical
- See, this is one of those games that I want something in my hand. I want to hold something the general shape of a lightsaber, not just swing around clenched fists. I have a strong feeling this is going to suck balls. Plus, graphically it looks like a Wii game (which I don’t have a problem with . . . on the Wii, but if it is going to be on an HD system, it better at least look good, even if it plays like shit).
Forza
Pre-E3 – Ambivalent
Post-E3 – Negative
- I guess my big issue is that if I’m using my hands to control the steering wheel with Kinect, how do I brake or accelerate? I NEED ME SOME BUTTONS.
Xbox 360 Slim
Pre-E3 – Suspected it was coming
Post-E3 – Ambivalent, I guess
- This is a fantastic marketing ploy, it will increase 360 sales, but it isn’t convincing me to become a 360 owner. I think my viewpoint would be a bit different if I had just been given a free one, just like each member of the audience. That just served to piss me off. People whose job it is to play videogames and many of whom have access to nearly every console they desire at their place of work shouldn’t get the damn thing for free. Microsoft was catering to the wrong audience, had they devised a way to give a bunch away for free to the general public, now that would have built a bunch of support.
All in all, the Microsoft Media Event was kind of underwhelming. It’s sad that the most exciting thing about a gaming expo is the unveiling of a partnership with ESPN and that a bunch of dudes who already have Xbox 360s just got free new ones.
Lame.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Currently Playing: Tactics Buffet
Having just typed the above subject line makes me wish there actually was a game called Tactics Buffet. In fact, if you told me that there was a limited run Atlus game, that only came out in Japan and told the story of the epic Catering War between the evil Hors D'oeuvres Empire and rebellious Four Food Groups Alliance, I’d probably believe you. And, would also really want to play it.
No, Tactics Buffet is my current approach to gaming. As I have alluded to before, I have a really hard time starting new games. Unless I have a good chunk of time set aside today, tomorrow, and for the next week or so, I simply do not have the motivation to launch wholeheartedly into a new game.
For me, this undoubtedly stems from my upbringing on NES and SNES sidescrollers. Back in the late 80s and early 90s, for many games, it wasn’t worth even starting, if you weren’t willing to play it excessively to the point of memorization. Granted skill and experience (which I sorely lacked) aided considerably, but those ball-busting games demanded a huge devotion of time and energy to beat.
I concede that in the current gaming world, games that require this type of mental commitment are few and far between. Occasionally, a game does come along that pays homage to the days of yore by being legitimately crazy hard, but this is by far the exception rather than the rule.
However, my NES gaming boot camp brainwashed me to such an extent that, to this day, I can’t get over the notion that a new game will take me weeks of nearly continuous play to memorize and eventually beat.
Additionally, I have a horrible character flaw: I’m a perfectionist. I have a very difficult time not trying to find every item and discover every secret. Games with branching paths and choices that affect story cause me to struggle because I know am going to miss out on a different part of the story, items, characters, and perhaps even entire levels.
With the above realizations in mind, now consider that I have recently gone through a pretty huge lifestyle change and have seen my gaming time dwindle to almost nothing. Consequently, when I do have time to play, I am inevitably drawn to my old favorites, the ones that are so ingrained in my head, that it seems like my fingers know what buttons to press based on pure instinct. But with U.N. Squadron, Super Metroid, and my other favorites I’m not making any progress. Remember, the point of this blog is to actually work through my backlog of games, not just comment on how nice they look sitting on the shelf.
Enter my favorite genre of all time: the Tactical RPG.
With my free time dwindling, TRPGs may just be my saving grace. Focusing on gameplay over pretty much all else, the TRPG allows me to play for a few hours then walk away for a day or two, perhaps even a month. When I come back, I don’t need to remember where the obscure old man in a hut told me to go to find his missing dog in order to advance the story. I don’t need to re-acclimate to the control scheme or physics engine. Nor do I need to remember exactly where the next fifteen squadrons of space fighters enter the screen. TRPGs are not a test of reaction time or level memorization, but instead rely on an analytical and systematic approach to gaming.
In fact, there is one TRPG that I have been playing fairly consistently for maybe two years without having yet beaten: Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2: Grimoire of the Rift. Overly complicated name aside, I’m currently clocked in at over 110 hours and that is just from completing all the side missions possible before advancing the story. I have no issues that the story is weak, that’s not why I play it. I play it for the battle system (which I like a heck of a lot better then the first Tactics Advance).
To add to my potpourri of Tactical RPGs, I started Tactics Ogre about a week ago and, while it currently rates above average, it’s taking some getting used to. I’ve also returned to trucking through the Final Fantasy Tactics: The Lion War for the PSP, which of course is awesome, despite the numerous issues I have with it, but I’ll save that rant for another time. Finally, I just started another DS TRPG, the port of the original Front Mission. I played the 3rd one years ago and really enjoyed it and am hoping the first is just as awesome.
So that's where I stand. I'll try and get as much game time in as I can and update as I find the time, or whenever I need to let off some steam.
No, Tactics Buffet is my current approach to gaming. As I have alluded to before, I have a really hard time starting new games. Unless I have a good chunk of time set aside today, tomorrow, and for the next week or so, I simply do not have the motivation to launch wholeheartedly into a new game.
For me, this undoubtedly stems from my upbringing on NES and SNES sidescrollers. Back in the late 80s and early 90s, for many games, it wasn’t worth even starting, if you weren’t willing to play it excessively to the point of memorization. Granted skill and experience (which I sorely lacked) aided considerably, but those ball-busting games demanded a huge devotion of time and energy to beat.
I concede that in the current gaming world, games that require this type of mental commitment are few and far between. Occasionally, a game does come along that pays homage to the days of yore by being legitimately crazy hard, but this is by far the exception rather than the rule.
However, my NES gaming boot camp brainwashed me to such an extent that, to this day, I can’t get over the notion that a new game will take me weeks of nearly continuous play to memorize and eventually beat.
Additionally, I have a horrible character flaw: I’m a perfectionist. I have a very difficult time not trying to find every item and discover every secret. Games with branching paths and choices that affect story cause me to struggle because I know am going to miss out on a different part of the story, items, characters, and perhaps even entire levels.
With the above realizations in mind, now consider that I have recently gone through a pretty huge lifestyle change and have seen my gaming time dwindle to almost nothing. Consequently, when I do have time to play, I am inevitably drawn to my old favorites, the ones that are so ingrained in my head, that it seems like my fingers know what buttons to press based on pure instinct. But with U.N. Squadron, Super Metroid, and my other favorites I’m not making any progress. Remember, the point of this blog is to actually work through my backlog of games, not just comment on how nice they look sitting on the shelf.
Enter my favorite genre of all time: the Tactical RPG.
With my free time dwindling, TRPGs may just be my saving grace. Focusing on gameplay over pretty much all else, the TRPG allows me to play for a few hours then walk away for a day or two, perhaps even a month. When I come back, I don’t need to remember where the obscure old man in a hut told me to go to find his missing dog in order to advance the story. I don’t need to re-acclimate to the control scheme or physics engine. Nor do I need to remember exactly where the next fifteen squadrons of space fighters enter the screen. TRPGs are not a test of reaction time or level memorization, but instead rely on an analytical and systematic approach to gaming.
In fact, there is one TRPG that I have been playing fairly consistently for maybe two years without having yet beaten: Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2: Grimoire of the Rift. Overly complicated name aside, I’m currently clocked in at over 110 hours and that is just from completing all the side missions possible before advancing the story. I have no issues that the story is weak, that’s not why I play it. I play it for the battle system (which I like a heck of a lot better then the first Tactics Advance).
To add to my potpourri of Tactical RPGs, I started Tactics Ogre about a week ago and, while it currently rates above average, it’s taking some getting used to. I’ve also returned to trucking through the Final Fantasy Tactics: The Lion War for the PSP, which of course is awesome, despite the numerous issues I have with it, but I’ll save that rant for another time. Finally, I just started another DS TRPG, the port of the original Front Mission. I played the 3rd one years ago and really enjoyed it and am hoping the first is just as awesome.
So that's where I stand. I'll try and get as much game time in as I can and update as I find the time, or whenever I need to let off some steam.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Just Beat: BioShock
…And by ‘just beat,’ I mean ‘I beat it about a week ago.’
I’m a little bit behind in blogging lately. The past few weeks have been unusually hectic for me. For a while, I shifted over to some of my other dork hobbies to try and get some work done on several long term projects. I finally finished a couple of models that I have been (sporadically) working on for quite some time and also made some progress on a huge Lego work-in-progress that I have been building for, oh, nearly ten years. One would think that I would have long since tossed in the towel on such an unsuccessful project, yet there it sits on my Lego table in various stages of construction. I guess it just shows how stubborn I am.
I was also pretty busy this week with some ups and downs in my personal life and now I’ve been hit with a pretty heavy sinus infection and soar throat. Currently, I’m using a very powerful drug: pretending-I’m-not-that-sick. Hopefully, my liberal dosages of imagination can help prevent me from paying any doctor bills. Either that, or it will give me pneumonia, but that’s cool too.
Before getting to my thoughts on BioShock, I feel like I need to tell a quick story.
About a week or so ago, I went into my neighborhood unfriendly Game store that also has Stop in its name. (No, not the one out by Target, the one in the mall. I like the one out by Target. At least I like it as much as one could actually like a member of this chain, mainly because one dude that works there is cool, knows his stuff, and one time made fun of the DS Imagine Series with me.) Anyway, back to the evil store in the Mall. The main girl that works there is this enormous, nosy lady that takes the promotion side of her job way too seriously. Apart from doing a really good Jabba the Hutt impersonation, she also is the role model for all annoying video game store employees.
So, the other day I was walking through the store, with a mild interest in buying Infinite Space for the DS. I was the only person in the store and she hefted herself across the room to ask: ‘So, what systems do you play on?’
To which I responded (in an attempt to end the conversation), ‘Oh, pretty much all of them.’
‘Ah, a fellow gamer,’ Jabba the Hutt growled, ‘What kind of games do you like?’
I thought for a moment, then hit back with something that I knew would send her back to her lair behind the counter, ‘I hate them all.’
Mission accomplished. She slithered away, mumbling under her breath. Triumphant, I took my time looking through almost every game in the store before leaving without buying anything – Infinite Space wasn’t in stock.
So, what’s the point? Later on, I was thinking back to that fairly bold statement and came to an uncomfortable realization: it’s kind of true. These days, I find fewer and fewer games that I actually like. I find flaws in everything and end up nitpicking otherwise good games to death. One would wonder if I even enjoy video games.
Now, with my perpetual pessimism (and utter hatred of First Person Shooters) in mind, understand how profound this next statement is:
I love BioShock, it’s freaking Awesome.
Not to say that there aren’t flaws. It’s just that the flaws are so inconsequential that even my ass-hole-ish self can overlook them and completely enjoy the game.
It should come as no surprise that BioShock is a great game. I’m not the first, or even the thousandth person to say so. But the fact that I, an ornery, anti-FPS, bitter old gamer actually likes it says a lot about the quality of the game.
...
Okay, since you asked, here are the very minor issues I had:
1 – The sound was a bit off. A lot of times when receiving transmissions from Atlas, Ryan, Fontaine, etc, the transmission would be drowned out by the sounds from the game, making it hard to hear the information they were giving you. There is probably a way to adjust this in the options, but I didn’t take the time to look, as it didn’t bother me all that much.
2 – The Hack button is the same as the Eve Hypo button. Infrequently, I would rush a turret, stun it with electricity, then (being in a hurry), I would mash the hack button, only to instead use an Eve Hypo. In the meantime the turret would come back to life and start to inject an unhealthy amount of ammunition into me. Inconvenient yes, but it is more likely that this is a reflection of my own weak skill at FPSs rather than a game flaw.
3 – The different levels almost got formulaic. Go through that door to advance, but wait! The door is blocked and you need to do some sort of side/fetch quest through the entire lever to gain access. But even this was okay, as the various quests were for the most part unique and forced you to interact with some of Rapture’s more unusual denizens.
Really, that’s about it. The odd thing is that, much like Uncharted, I don’t really have the urge to replay the game, even with the carrot of seeing a different conclusion if I harvested rather than saved all the Little Sisters. Maybe I’ll go through it again down the road, but currently, it’s going back on the shelf.
I’m a little bit behind in blogging lately. The past few weeks have been unusually hectic for me. For a while, I shifted over to some of my other dork hobbies to try and get some work done on several long term projects. I finally finished a couple of models that I have been (sporadically) working on for quite some time and also made some progress on a huge Lego work-in-progress that I have been building for, oh, nearly ten years. One would think that I would have long since tossed in the towel on such an unsuccessful project, yet there it sits on my Lego table in various stages of construction. I guess it just shows how stubborn I am.
I was also pretty busy this week with some ups and downs in my personal life and now I’ve been hit with a pretty heavy sinus infection and soar throat. Currently, I’m using a very powerful drug: pretending-I’m-not-that-sick. Hopefully, my liberal dosages of imagination can help prevent me from paying any doctor bills. Either that, or it will give me pneumonia, but that’s cool too.
Before getting to my thoughts on BioShock, I feel like I need to tell a quick story.
About a week or so ago, I went into my neighborhood unfriendly Game store that also has Stop in its name. (No, not the one out by Target, the one in the mall. I like the one out by Target. At least I like it as much as one could actually like a member of this chain, mainly because one dude that works there is cool, knows his stuff, and one time made fun of the DS Imagine Series with me.) Anyway, back to the evil store in the Mall. The main girl that works there is this enormous, nosy lady that takes the promotion side of her job way too seriously. Apart from doing a really good Jabba the Hutt impersonation, she also is the role model for all annoying video game store employees.
So, the other day I was walking through the store, with a mild interest in buying Infinite Space for the DS. I was the only person in the store and she hefted herself across the room to ask: ‘So, what systems do you play on?’
To which I responded (in an attempt to end the conversation), ‘Oh, pretty much all of them.’
‘Ah, a fellow gamer,’ Jabba the Hutt growled, ‘What kind of games do you like?’
I thought for a moment, then hit back with something that I knew would send her back to her lair behind the counter, ‘I hate them all.’
Mission accomplished. She slithered away, mumbling under her breath. Triumphant, I took my time looking through almost every game in the store before leaving without buying anything – Infinite Space wasn’t in stock.
The mighty Jabba bids you welcome and will gladly pay you the sum of 20,000. He also wants to know if you would like to preorder the next Madden game
So, what’s the point? Later on, I was thinking back to that fairly bold statement and came to an uncomfortable realization: it’s kind of true. These days, I find fewer and fewer games that I actually like. I find flaws in everything and end up nitpicking otherwise good games to death. One would wonder if I even enjoy video games.
Now, with my perpetual pessimism (and utter hatred of First Person Shooters) in mind, understand how profound this next statement is:
I love BioShock, it’s freaking Awesome.
Not to say that there aren’t flaws. It’s just that the flaws are so inconsequential that even my ass-hole-ish self can overlook them and completely enjoy the game.
It should come as no surprise that BioShock is a great game. I’m not the first, or even the thousandth person to say so. But the fact that I, an ornery, anti-FPS, bitter old gamer actually likes it says a lot about the quality of the game.
...
Okay, since you asked, here are the very minor issues I had:
1 – The sound was a bit off. A lot of times when receiving transmissions from Atlas, Ryan, Fontaine, etc, the transmission would be drowned out by the sounds from the game, making it hard to hear the information they were giving you. There is probably a way to adjust this in the options, but I didn’t take the time to look, as it didn’t bother me all that much.
2 – The Hack button is the same as the Eve Hypo button. Infrequently, I would rush a turret, stun it with electricity, then (being in a hurry), I would mash the hack button, only to instead use an Eve Hypo. In the meantime the turret would come back to life and start to inject an unhealthy amount of ammunition into me. Inconvenient yes, but it is more likely that this is a reflection of my own weak skill at FPSs rather than a game flaw.
3 – The different levels almost got formulaic. Go through that door to advance, but wait! The door is blocked and you need to do some sort of side/fetch quest through the entire lever to gain access. But even this was okay, as the various quests were for the most part unique and forced you to interact with some of Rapture’s more unusual denizens.
Really, that’s about it. The odd thing is that, much like Uncharted, I don’t really have the urge to replay the game, even with the carrot of seeing a different conclusion if I harvested rather than saved all the Little Sisters. Maybe I’ll go through it again down the road, but currently, it’s going back on the shelf.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Currently Playing: BioShock
Late last night, after installing what seemed like an hour worth of updates to my PS3, I decided to fire up BioShock.
Everything I have heard, seen, read, or imagined about this game indicates that it has what it takes to be an instant classic for me. Dystopian Science Fiction is probably my favorite sub-genre in all of fiction. I love the inherent mystery of a society that has risen to greatness only to fall for some unknown reason. Additionally, I find Ayn Rand’s ideas of objectivism fascinating, albeit fundamentally flawed. Lastly, I love the style of the mid-50s: the architecture, cars, propaganda type posters, the suits. It’s all just so freaking cool.
Unfortunately, I have one huge problem with BioShock.
It’s a First Person Shooter.
And, I am the King of Suck when it comes to First Person Shooters
This depressing fact, by itself, is the reason I don’t own a 360, which thrives on its ever growing staple of fantastic FPS’s. Of my fairly sizeable gaming collection, I own maybe 10 games that could be classified as First Person Shooters – and three of those are the Metroid Prime series. (In contrast, I stopped counting how many RPGs I own once I hit 100).
Do you remember way back in the 80s, when people first played Super Mario Bros? Remember how the kids who didn’t own an NES (me) would jerk the controller up when trying to jump, or would lean their entire body to the right in an attempt to get Mario over a pit by shear force of will?
Yeah, remember that guy?
Well, I’m still that guy when it comes to FPS’s. Let’s say I’m playing an FPS and am currently hiding behind a corner. Because I (justifiably) doubt my skills to charge into the next room and quickly target the dude camping there waiting to blow my head off, I instead want to take a quick peek and maybe get some intel on the approximate location of my future executioner. But instead of strafing out, taking a look around, then returning to cover, I’m sitting in my living room, craning my neck to try and see around the corner.
Sorry, noob, it doesn’t quite work that way. Maybe it will with the new 3DS, but as for now, I just look like an idiot. To be honest, even with a new fangled 3D system, I’d still look like an idiot.
Additionally, I get pretty bad headaches from playing almost all First Person and most Third Person games. Either my brain isn’t keen on being tricked into thinking it is in a 3-D environment or I’m susceptible to some sort of motion sickness. However, seeing that I spent nearly 3 years serving on probably the least stable ship in the entire United States Navy and never got seasick once, I think the former is most likely the case.
I’m not happy about this flaw in my character. I would love to be able to go on XBox Live and go toe to toe with the gaming world in Modern Warfare 2. But, the reality is that I wouldn’t make it more than five steps without learning where one of the respawn points is.
I do intend to finish BioShock and I promise not to let my lack of skill color my view of this game. It just may take me a few lives (read: hundreds) and a long, looooong, time.
Everything I have heard, seen, read, or imagined about this game indicates that it has what it takes to be an instant classic for me. Dystopian Science Fiction is probably my favorite sub-genre in all of fiction. I love the inherent mystery of a society that has risen to greatness only to fall for some unknown reason. Additionally, I find Ayn Rand’s ideas of objectivism fascinating, albeit fundamentally flawed. Lastly, I love the style of the mid-50s: the architecture, cars, propaganda type posters, the suits. It’s all just so freaking cool.
Unfortunately, I have one huge problem with BioShock.
It’s a First Person Shooter.
And, I am the King of Suck when it comes to First Person Shooters
This depressing fact, by itself, is the reason I don’t own a 360, which thrives on its ever growing staple of fantastic FPS’s. Of my fairly sizeable gaming collection, I own maybe 10 games that could be classified as First Person Shooters – and three of those are the Metroid Prime series. (In contrast, I stopped counting how many RPGs I own once I hit 100).
Do you remember way back in the 80s, when people first played Super Mario Bros? Remember how the kids who didn’t own an NES (me) would jerk the controller up when trying to jump, or would lean their entire body to the right in an attempt to get Mario over a pit by shear force of will?
Yeah, remember that guy?
Well, I’m still that guy when it comes to FPS’s. Let’s say I’m playing an FPS and am currently hiding behind a corner. Because I (justifiably) doubt my skills to charge into the next room and quickly target the dude camping there waiting to blow my head off, I instead want to take a quick peek and maybe get some intel on the approximate location of my future executioner. But instead of strafing out, taking a look around, then returning to cover, I’m sitting in my living room, craning my neck to try and see around the corner.
Sorry, noob, it doesn’t quite work that way. Maybe it will with the new 3DS, but as for now, I just look like an idiot. To be honest, even with a new fangled 3D system, I’d still look like an idiot.
Additionally, I get pretty bad headaches from playing almost all First Person and most Third Person games. Either my brain isn’t keen on being tricked into thinking it is in a 3-D environment or I’m susceptible to some sort of motion sickness. However, seeing that I spent nearly 3 years serving on probably the least stable ship in the entire United States Navy and never got seasick once, I think the former is most likely the case.
I’m not happy about this flaw in my character. I would love to be able to go on XBox Live and go toe to toe with the gaming world in Modern Warfare 2. But, the reality is that I wouldn’t make it more than five steps without learning where one of the respawn points is.
I do intend to finish BioShock and I promise not to let my lack of skill color my view of this game. It just may take me a few lives (read: hundreds) and a long, looooong, time.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Just Beat: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Obviously, I’m a little late to the party. Back in 1997, I was too busy being a Final Fantasy fanboy to notice that there were other really good games out for the PS1. Additionally, my memories of the 8 and 16 bit Castlevania were pretty much non-existent. Spending the first 11 years of my life console-less, I relied heavily on my friends and the games they either owned or rented to introduce me to new titles and franchises. Apparently, my friends lacked gaming awesomeness because they never rented any of the Castlevania games. Consequently, when SotN hit store shelves, it didn't even come close to registering on my radar. On the other hand, had someone mentioned the term ‘Metroidvania,’ I probably would have bought it in a heartbeat, because of my unquestioning loyalty to Metroid and anything even remotely resembling it.
Since I just discovered what the rest of the universe has known for over a decade (that this game kicks serious ass), I will refrain from spending too much time describing just how it goes about kicking that much ass. Most everything about this game hits the sweet spot for me: nonlinear design, gorgeous in-game graphics, awesome music, and incredible depth of play. Without a doubt, Symphony of the Night is the newest inductee into my personal Video Game Hall of Fame.
However, I do have one mild concern. Towards the end, I’d made it through the entire castle and saved one last time before heading to the final boss. Charging in, I expected a difficult battle ahead of me; but I beat Richter without so much as breaking a sweat.
Exit Richter. End of story. Crappy final credits song.
Wait, what? That's it? That was anti-climactic.
Konami created this awesome and involving world and then just cut it off? That’s weird. I figured that there would be a little more meat to the finale. Also, when Death stole all my equipment at the beginning, didn't he mumble something about 'seeing me again?' What is he, an optional boss or something?
Truncated ending aside, the game was still awesome. So much so, that I might as well go back to my final save and explore a bit more, maybe find some of the relics and items that I missed.
Hey, here's an area that I never found. Oh, and armor that breaks spikes, awesome! Wasn't there a room off the chapel with a bunch of spikes? Sure enough, and Maria is hanging out there with a Silver Ring.
How Maria got in a room that is at the dead end of a long hallway of spikes, that also includes a door that only Mist can pass through, and another door for which I alone have the key is another matter entirely, but I digress.
Anyway, back to the Silver Ring. The item description mentions, 'In...Tower...' Okay Konami, I'm not an idiot (for the most part), I know how to use these rings. Oh, and Maria is waiting for me in another completely inaccessible area. And this time she gave me some magical sunglasses that let me see in HD!
I guess that's all the new stuff I can find, I'm gonna go beat Richter again. Maybe my new shades will let me see the real final boss, maybe its Death, or maybe Dracu. . .
Holy Balls!
An entire new castle to explore! Hell Yes! This game is awesome!
Now THAT is what I’m talking about.
I think I need to go change my shorts.
---
Truthfully, I never fully believed that Richter was the final boss. Something just didn't feel right after beating him. Everything, from the story to the gameplay seemed like it wasn't tied up; that there were too many loose ends. I don't know how gameplay has loose ends, but that's how it felt. But I had no idea that it would be an entire new castle to fight through. I think it was when I saw the castle materialize upside-down was the moment that I fell smack in love with Symphony of the Night.
My only two true complaints are:
When Richter is freed before the castle inverts, Alucard, Maria, and Richter stop to chat for a bit. For a fleeting moment, I thought that maybe I would be able to play through the new castle with the ability to switch between the three characters. Naturally, it didn’t turn out that way, but I think that would have been pretty cool.
Second, that ending credits song truly is terrible. Anything featuring the Saxophone in an extended solo shouldn’t be in the finale of a game called ‘Symphony of the Night.’ Or really, any game for that matter…
Since I just discovered what the rest of the universe has known for over a decade (that this game kicks serious ass), I will refrain from spending too much time describing just how it goes about kicking that much ass. Most everything about this game hits the sweet spot for me: nonlinear design, gorgeous in-game graphics, awesome music, and incredible depth of play. Without a doubt, Symphony of the Night is the newest inductee into my personal Video Game Hall of Fame.
However, I do have one mild concern. Towards the end, I’d made it through the entire castle and saved one last time before heading to the final boss. Charging in, I expected a difficult battle ahead of me; but I beat Richter without so much as breaking a sweat.
Exit Richter. End of story. Crappy final credits song.
Wait, what? That's it? That was anti-climactic.
Konami created this awesome and involving world and then just cut it off? That’s weird. I figured that there would be a little more meat to the finale. Also, when Death stole all my equipment at the beginning, didn't he mumble something about 'seeing me again?' What is he, an optional boss or something?
Truncated ending aside, the game was still awesome. So much so, that I might as well go back to my final save and explore a bit more, maybe find some of the relics and items that I missed.
Hey, here's an area that I never found. Oh, and armor that breaks spikes, awesome! Wasn't there a room off the chapel with a bunch of spikes? Sure enough, and Maria is hanging out there with a Silver Ring.
How Maria got in a room that is at the dead end of a long hallway of spikes, that also includes a door that only Mist can pass through, and another door for which I alone have the key is another matter entirely, but I digress.
Anyway, back to the Silver Ring. The item description mentions, 'In...Tower...' Okay Konami, I'm not an idiot (for the most part), I know how to use these rings. Oh, and Maria is waiting for me in another completely inaccessible area. And this time she gave me some magical sunglasses that let me see in HD!
I guess that's all the new stuff I can find, I'm gonna go beat Richter again. Maybe my new shades will let me see the real final boss, maybe its Death, or maybe Dracu. . .
Holy Balls!
An entire new castle to explore! Hell Yes! This game is awesome!
Now THAT is what I’m talking about.
I think I need to go change my shorts.
---
Truthfully, I never fully believed that Richter was the final boss. Something just didn't feel right after beating him. Everything, from the story to the gameplay seemed like it wasn't tied up; that there were too many loose ends. I don't know how gameplay has loose ends, but that's how it felt. But I had no idea that it would be an entire new castle to fight through. I think it was when I saw the castle materialize upside-down was the moment that I fell smack in love with Symphony of the Night.
My only two true complaints are:
When Richter is freed before the castle inverts, Alucard, Maria, and Richter stop to chat for a bit. For a fleeting moment, I thought that maybe I would be able to play through the new castle with the ability to switch between the three characters. Naturally, it didn’t turn out that way, but I think that would have been pretty cool.
Second, that ending credits song truly is terrible. Anything featuring the Saxophone in an extended solo shouldn’t be in the finale of a game called ‘Symphony of the Night.’ Or really, any game for that matter…
Monday, March 29, 2010
Just Beat: Super Turrican
Most of the time, when perusing the used game section of a secondhand store or pawn shop, I use my keen ‘Nostalgia-Sense’ to spot games that I might like. Most often, I read through the games stacked chaotically in a glass case towards the back, and just look for a title that perhaps I rented a few times way back when, or played at a friend’s house, or maybe read about in Nintendo Power, or even simply heard on the playground that it was a good game. If I see something that meets those criteria, I usually pick it up. Granted, I’m still disappointed now and again, but it beats the heck putting energy into something like researching a game before buying it.
Super Turrican only barely meets the above requirements. Somewhere, on the periphery of my childhood videogame memory vault, there is a vague recollection of recognizing the name ‘Super Turrican.’ Unfortunately, the memory is so vague that I neither know where I heard it from, nor if it was any good. I think my sole reference may have originated from an episode of Nick Arcade, but I’m unable to find a coherent list of games that the show featured.
Regardless of where I heard of it, something in my head linked Super Turrican with being a pretty good game, so I recently picked it up. In theory, this is a game I would love: 2D shooter, with large and vaguely non-linear levels, lots of weapons and powerups, some difficult platforming, and tons of secrets to uncover. This game has all the necessary ingredients for an instant classic and there is a large, devoted fan-base out there championing the original games (for Amiga, C64, Mega Drive/Genesis, NES/SNES, to name a few). There is even a significant movement to release the nearly finished, but never published, final game of the series on the Virtual Console.
However, while the devoted fans may cry foul, I say that this game fails in almost every respect. Not that it does anything really wrong, it simply doesn’t really do anything right. The entire time playing it, all I wanted to do was play Contra 3, even from before pressing start… with the intro.
Starting out, the camera pans down through an overly colorful and star-studded sky. The term ‘bejeweled’ comes to mind. The top portion of a planet comes to dominate the bottom of the screen. It’s an inviting world with swirling lime green and pink clouds, it looks more like a mix of sherbet at Baskin Robins, than a planet.
Text types across the bottom:
Stardate… 2751-11
Planet… Katakis
Class… Mostly Harmless
Uh, what? Is it November of 2751? Does anyone actually have good reasoning behind how stardates work (I’m looking at you Star Trek)? And, what the heck does ‘Mostly Harmless’ mean? What sort of planet classification system is this? Is ‘Mostly Harmless’ right below ‘Partly Boring’ and right above ‘Entirely Apathetic’?
Anyway, cut to the rear view of a generic looking spacecraft. We never see any other aspect of this craft, other than the aft view. The narration continues, ‘Lonesome, the Avalon 1 glides through the outer reaches of the galaxy.’
Okay, I don’t think that ‘glides’ is the verb I would choose for this picture. Perhaps ‘careens’ would be a better word choice, as the crew has obviously been drinking heavily and the pilot is having a hard time staying between the lines.
Flash back to 31 Flavors Katakis, which now is in the grip of a gargantuan person that looks like the artist got confused as to whether he was supposed to draw Shredder or Galactus. The narrator, who recently learned how to (poorly) use a thesaurus, states, ‘Suddenly, with a flash of destruction, the evil forces of The Machine conquer Katakis. Brutally, they freeze the people of this peaceful world in eternal enslavement.’
Wait. Is that Mutant Shredder-Galactus-spawn supposed to be ‘The Machine?’ He doesn’t really look like a machine. And, if he is so huge (as the image shows, he is clearly gripping the planet in his hands) and powerful enough to unleash a sudden ‘flash of destruction,’ why would he want to conquer a worthless planet that is classified as ‘mostly harmless?’ Additionally, what good are frozen people as slaves. I suppose they will last a really, really long time (or eternally as the narration suggests), but they really won’t be very productive, you know, being frozen and all.
We return again to the rear of the Avalon 1 as it hobbles through space under direction of its inebriated pilot, ‘Justice! The cry of a billion souls floats through space and. . .
. . . Finally reaches the Avalon 1.’
Good thing Obi Wan Kenobi is onboard the Avalon to feel the disturbance of the force, otherwise I’m not sure how exactly the crew would receive the cry of all those souls floating aimlessly through space.
The camera shows the spacecraft speed off into the distance. Then we cut back to Katakis. Fortunately, The Machine has wandered off, most likely due to Katakis being a pretty boring place, you know, with everyone being frozen and all. The Avalon, then rolls crazily to the right as the sloshed pilot sets a collision course for the landing site. The text continues, ‘Approaching Katarkis, the brave fighters of the U.S.S. Freedom Forces. . .
. . . Slip into their Turrican Assault Suits, ready to risk their lives for the innocent.’
I love how in science fiction, whenever a writer is trying to make a ship or something sound militaristic and important, they title it the ‘U.S.S. Something Epic.’ Seriously, do any of those writers understand that those letters stand for United States Ship? And to even more confound matters, we already know the name of the ship is the Avalon 1. So, what the heck is the U.S.S. Freedom Forces? Given the context, it sounds more like a branch of the military, or perhaps a special forces unit, which makes even less sense. Even more ridiculous is that these hardened solders ‘slip’ into their mech suits that contain, as the back of the box states, ‘the firepower of an entire army.’ Yet, it sounds so luxurious, ‘slipping’ into these suits made for war. They might as well wear them as pajamas if they’re so comfy.
And then we cut to a climactic image of the Turrican Suit! It looks like the designers took samples of all the best mech-suit designs out there: Samus Aran, Mega Man, Ropocop, the Transformers, you name it. Once collected, they then removed all the cool parts and blindly jammed the remaining crappy pieces together to form a disjointed, impractical suit of WTF. Oh, and the background is a bunch of blurred colors flashing by. Why? Because it’s EXTREME!
It has occurred to me that I may be overly harsh on the introduction. Many games’ openers range from oddly curious to outright ridiculous. Take Contra 3’s opener which is nearly as bad. Crappy Arial font scrolls ‘The Alien Wars begin!’ across the screen and a poorly rendered Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Look-Alike-Minority saying, ‘It’s time for revenge. Let’s attack aggressively.’ (Fortunately both Arnold and his African American Clone are sporting pretty hardcore headbands, otherwise they wouldn’t stand a chance)
However, I posit that Super Turrican’s introduction sets the tone for the entire game. Nothing quite adds up in it. For example, The Machine, or the Shredder-Galactus hybrid, never makes an appearance in the game. The end boss is basically the Queen Alien from Aliens. What the heck happened to the huge, planet clutching samurai dude? And what about all those frozen slaves? You never rescue any of them, nor even see any indication whatsoever of their existence.
At least in Contra, you end up fighting the floating face you see in the opening. Likewise, you participate (and attack aggressively!) in the war against the Aliens. It even alludes to other human resistance/military acting in said war: a bomber napalms the infested city in Level 1 and an attack helicopter fires missiles at the huge battleship in Level 4.
Having made it through the Intro and actually started Super Turrican, I was completely unimpressed. Again, I reiterate that nothing was blatantly wrong: the controls fairly tight, the graphics distinct, hit detection solid, and the levels vaguely fun. But, the game refused to do almost anything truly right.
For example, why can I only fire to the left or right? The last game I played with a similar limitation was the original Metroid and that was, what, 1986? Super Turrican was published in 1993! To further compound this curiosity, one of the auxiliary weapons, the Freeze Laser, can fire in a complete 360 degree arc. I will grant, that I rarely desired to shoot other than horizontally, as the 360 range of the Freeze Laser and various gun powerups made up for the inadequacy, but the question of ‘why?’ remains.
Another adequate, but unimpressive feature were the graphics. The game makes use of the SNES’ ability to produce a huge variety of colors as well as mode 7 graphics. However, the color combinations prove too garish, bright, and overly colorful, which ultimately portrays the environments and enemies as almost childish. Compare the color choices of Contra 3 or Super Metroid to those of Super Turrican and you will see a richer color pallet with deeper tones and consequently a more mature feel.
The gameplay mechanic also left me wanting. While I am aware that the variety and style of weapons has been around, with little variation, since the original Amiga/C64 version, I still feel that it lacks refinement. The variety of secondary weapons seems a bit thrown together. Apart from the main gun, the Turrican suit can be used to stomp enemies (Mario style), it can roll into a quasi-invincible ball that lays mines (ala Metroid), the Freeze Laser temporarily freezes most enemies and has a 360 arc of fire, and there is a super attack that fires a wide beam horizontally in both directions. About half of the weaponry gives the impression that it was very loosely designed; that there was not much thought into the purpose and capabilities of the weapons, rather they were added simply to give the player options.
If the designers allowed the main gun to be targeted in 8 directions, allowed the player to switch between using the standard gun and the freeze ray (say with a press of the X or R button), combined with perhaps one of the super weapon/mega bomb attacks, the player would have had very similar capabilities, but with a much cleaner control scheme.
Finally, when I reached the final set of levels, I felt almost betrayed. The design of the enemies and level overall is a copyright infringement rip-off of the Alien trilogy and to a lesser extent the final levels of the Contra games. Seriously, Face Huggers popping out of eggs and latching onto your face; Aliens running around; and Alien heads dripping spit are the platforms of the level. The walls and platforms composed of alien body parts mimics Contra final level design. When playing through a game, I should not be reminded of another game, a better game, a game I would rather be playing.
There are other items that rubbed me wrong as well. These were simply poor design choices that, in no way, break the game, but added to the unremarkable feel.
- On the game start screen, the Select button doesn’t move between ‘Start’ and ‘Option,’ instead, it starts the game
- In some levels, the time limit can be fairly brutal, granting very little time for exploration or mistakes. This would be fine if it was standard, but some levels have strict limits, while others provide excessive leniency
- The bosses are few in number and almost comically easy to boot. I died maybe once on a boss and I think it was because I was trying to eat a PB&J sandwich and fight him at the same time
I will grant this game one concession: the music is outstanding. No howevers, no buts, no extenuating circumstances here. The musical scores are amazing. Each track perfectly fits and reflects the specific environment or level for which it was composed. Well done.
My final conclusion for Super Turrican is, unsurprisingly, that apart from the music, I am entirely unimpressed. If you played this back in the day, you will most likely have a different view, due to your nostalgia goggles. However, when presented with it for the first time, it definitely has not aged well and is average in almost every respect.
Super Turrican only barely meets the above requirements. Somewhere, on the periphery of my childhood videogame memory vault, there is a vague recollection of recognizing the name ‘Super Turrican.’ Unfortunately, the memory is so vague that I neither know where I heard it from, nor if it was any good. I think my sole reference may have originated from an episode of Nick Arcade, but I’m unable to find a coherent list of games that the show featured.
Regardless of where I heard of it, something in my head linked Super Turrican with being a pretty good game, so I recently picked it up. In theory, this is a game I would love: 2D shooter, with large and vaguely non-linear levels, lots of weapons and powerups, some difficult platforming, and tons of secrets to uncover. This game has all the necessary ingredients for an instant classic and there is a large, devoted fan-base out there championing the original games (for Amiga, C64, Mega Drive/Genesis, NES/SNES, to name a few). There is even a significant movement to release the nearly finished, but never published, final game of the series on the Virtual Console.
However, while the devoted fans may cry foul, I say that this game fails in almost every respect. Not that it does anything really wrong, it simply doesn’t really do anything right. The entire time playing it, all I wanted to do was play Contra 3, even from before pressing start… with the intro.
Starting out, the camera pans down through an overly colorful and star-studded sky. The term ‘bejeweled’ comes to mind. The top portion of a planet comes to dominate the bottom of the screen. It’s an inviting world with swirling lime green and pink clouds, it looks more like a mix of sherbet at Baskin Robins, than a planet.
Text types across the bottom:
Stardate… 2751-11
Planet… Katakis
Class… Mostly Harmless
Uh, what? Is it November of 2751? Does anyone actually have good reasoning behind how stardates work (I’m looking at you Star Trek)? And, what the heck does ‘Mostly Harmless’ mean? What sort of planet classification system is this? Is ‘Mostly Harmless’ right below ‘Partly Boring’ and right above ‘Entirely Apathetic’?
Anyway, cut to the rear view of a generic looking spacecraft. We never see any other aspect of this craft, other than the aft view. The narration continues, ‘Lonesome, the Avalon 1 glides through the outer reaches of the galaxy.’
Okay, I don’t think that ‘glides’ is the verb I would choose for this picture. Perhaps ‘careens’ would be a better word choice, as the crew has obviously been drinking heavily and the pilot is having a hard time staying between the lines.
Flash back to 31 Flavors Katakis, which now is in the grip of a gargantuan person that looks like the artist got confused as to whether he was supposed to draw Shredder or Galactus. The narrator, who recently learned how to (poorly) use a thesaurus, states, ‘Suddenly, with a flash of destruction, the evil forces of The Machine conquer Katakis. Brutally, they freeze the people of this peaceful world in eternal enslavement.’
Wait. Is that Mutant Shredder-Galactus-spawn supposed to be ‘The Machine?’ He doesn’t really look like a machine. And, if he is so huge (as the image shows, he is clearly gripping the planet in his hands) and powerful enough to unleash a sudden ‘flash of destruction,’ why would he want to conquer a worthless planet that is classified as ‘mostly harmless?’ Additionally, what good are frozen people as slaves. I suppose they will last a really, really long time (or eternally as the narration suggests), but they really won’t be very productive, you know, being frozen and all.
We return again to the rear of the Avalon 1 as it hobbles through space under direction of its inebriated pilot, ‘Justice! The cry of a billion souls floats through space and. . .
. . . Finally reaches the Avalon 1.’
Good thing Obi Wan Kenobi is onboard the Avalon to feel the disturbance of the force, otherwise I’m not sure how exactly the crew would receive the cry of all those souls floating aimlessly through space.
The camera shows the spacecraft speed off into the distance. Then we cut back to Katakis. Fortunately, The Machine has wandered off, most likely due to Katakis being a pretty boring place, you know, with everyone being frozen and all. The Avalon, then rolls crazily to the right as the sloshed pilot sets a collision course for the landing site. The text continues, ‘Approaching Katarkis, the brave fighters of the U.S.S. Freedom Forces. . .
. . . Slip into their Turrican Assault Suits, ready to risk their lives for the innocent.’
I love how in science fiction, whenever a writer is trying to make a ship or something sound militaristic and important, they title it the ‘U.S.S. Something Epic.’ Seriously, do any of those writers understand that those letters stand for United States Ship? And to even more confound matters, we already know the name of the ship is the Avalon 1. So, what the heck is the U.S.S. Freedom Forces? Given the context, it sounds more like a branch of the military, or perhaps a special forces unit, which makes even less sense. Even more ridiculous is that these hardened solders ‘slip’ into their mech suits that contain, as the back of the box states, ‘the firepower of an entire army.’ Yet, it sounds so luxurious, ‘slipping’ into these suits made for war. They might as well wear them as pajamas if they’re so comfy.
And then we cut to a climactic image of the Turrican Suit! It looks like the designers took samples of all the best mech-suit designs out there: Samus Aran, Mega Man, Ropocop, the Transformers, you name it. Once collected, they then removed all the cool parts and blindly jammed the remaining crappy pieces together to form a disjointed, impractical suit of WTF. Oh, and the background is a bunch of blurred colors flashing by. Why? Because it’s EXTREME!
It has occurred to me that I may be overly harsh on the introduction. Many games’ openers range from oddly curious to outright ridiculous. Take Contra 3’s opener which is nearly as bad. Crappy Arial font scrolls ‘The Alien Wars begin!’ across the screen and a poorly rendered Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Look-Alike-Minority saying, ‘It’s time for revenge. Let’s attack aggressively.’ (Fortunately both Arnold and his African American Clone are sporting pretty hardcore headbands, otherwise they wouldn’t stand a chance)
However, I posit that Super Turrican’s introduction sets the tone for the entire game. Nothing quite adds up in it. For example, The Machine, or the Shredder-Galactus hybrid, never makes an appearance in the game. The end boss is basically the Queen Alien from Aliens. What the heck happened to the huge, planet clutching samurai dude? And what about all those frozen slaves? You never rescue any of them, nor even see any indication whatsoever of their existence.
At least in Contra, you end up fighting the floating face you see in the opening. Likewise, you participate (and attack aggressively!) in the war against the Aliens. It even alludes to other human resistance/military acting in said war: a bomber napalms the infested city in Level 1 and an attack helicopter fires missiles at the huge battleship in Level 4.
Having made it through the Intro and actually started Super Turrican, I was completely unimpressed. Again, I reiterate that nothing was blatantly wrong: the controls fairly tight, the graphics distinct, hit detection solid, and the levels vaguely fun. But, the game refused to do almost anything truly right.
For example, why can I only fire to the left or right? The last game I played with a similar limitation was the original Metroid and that was, what, 1986? Super Turrican was published in 1993! To further compound this curiosity, one of the auxiliary weapons, the Freeze Laser, can fire in a complete 360 degree arc. I will grant, that I rarely desired to shoot other than horizontally, as the 360 range of the Freeze Laser and various gun powerups made up for the inadequacy, but the question of ‘why?’ remains.
Another adequate, but unimpressive feature were the graphics. The game makes use of the SNES’ ability to produce a huge variety of colors as well as mode 7 graphics. However, the color combinations prove too garish, bright, and overly colorful, which ultimately portrays the environments and enemies as almost childish. Compare the color choices of Contra 3 or Super Metroid to those of Super Turrican and you will see a richer color pallet with deeper tones and consequently a more mature feel.
The gameplay mechanic also left me wanting. While I am aware that the variety and style of weapons has been around, with little variation, since the original Amiga/C64 version, I still feel that it lacks refinement. The variety of secondary weapons seems a bit thrown together. Apart from the main gun, the Turrican suit can be used to stomp enemies (Mario style), it can roll into a quasi-invincible ball that lays mines (ala Metroid), the Freeze Laser temporarily freezes most enemies and has a 360 arc of fire, and there is a super attack that fires a wide beam horizontally in both directions. About half of the weaponry gives the impression that it was very loosely designed; that there was not much thought into the purpose and capabilities of the weapons, rather they were added simply to give the player options.
If the designers allowed the main gun to be targeted in 8 directions, allowed the player to switch between using the standard gun and the freeze ray (say with a press of the X or R button), combined with perhaps one of the super weapon/mega bomb attacks, the player would have had very similar capabilities, but with a much cleaner control scheme.
Finally, when I reached the final set of levels, I felt almost betrayed. The design of the enemies and level overall is a copyright infringement rip-off of the Alien trilogy and to a lesser extent the final levels of the Contra games. Seriously, Face Huggers popping out of eggs and latching onto your face; Aliens running around; and Alien heads dripping spit are the platforms of the level. The walls and platforms composed of alien body parts mimics Contra final level design. When playing through a game, I should not be reminded of another game, a better game, a game I would rather be playing.
There are other items that rubbed me wrong as well. These were simply poor design choices that, in no way, break the game, but added to the unremarkable feel.
- On the game start screen, the Select button doesn’t move between ‘Start’ and ‘Option,’ instead, it starts the game
- In some levels, the time limit can be fairly brutal, granting very little time for exploration or mistakes. This would be fine if it was standard, but some levels have strict limits, while others provide excessive leniency
- The bosses are few in number and almost comically easy to boot. I died maybe once on a boss and I think it was because I was trying to eat a PB&J sandwich and fight him at the same time
I will grant this game one concession: the music is outstanding. No howevers, no buts, no extenuating circumstances here. The musical scores are amazing. Each track perfectly fits and reflects the specific environment or level for which it was composed. Well done.
My final conclusion for Super Turrican is, unsurprisingly, that apart from the music, I am entirely unimpressed. If you played this back in the day, you will most likely have a different view, due to your nostalgia goggles. However, when presented with it for the first time, it definitely has not aged well and is average in almost every respect.
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